


Pure Depravity

by AkashaTheKitty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blackmail, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sex, F/M, Profanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkashaTheKitty/pseuds/AkashaTheKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pansy Parkinson will do anything to keep Draco Malfoy from breaking up with her. Anything. But he's steadily losing interest whilst Blaise Zabini is doing his very best to find all of her weak points and use them against her in his quest to get her for himself.</p><p><b>Betas:</b> Little Dollface and MazVN. <b>Britpick:</b> Robs55.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Banner by Little Dollface. :)
> 
>   
> 

'Zabini, could you focus?' Malfoy snapped his fingers in front of Blaise's face in the most annoying way. Blaise flashed his teeth in a hostile snarl. He didn't like this colourless git—never had and never bloody would.

'Since when do you care so much about essays?' he asked, pushing away his parchment. He really hated group work. 'I'm done for the night. If you want to be all Granger about it, be my guest, but I'm going to bed.'

Malfoy didn't even seem fazed by the unflattering comparison. 'You were staring at Pansy again, weren't you? If you help me get better marks, you can have her.'

Blaise froze mid-stretch. 'What?'

'You heard me,' Malfoy calmly said. 'I know you want her. Hell, she's probably the only decent-looking witch in this place that you haven't had. I've no interest in her right now.'

Blaise glanced over at Pansy, sitting with her girlfriends, merrily chatting, at the other end of the common room. 'I thought she was your girlfriend.'

'She is. But she's kind of clingy and I'm not ready to stop having fun.'

'Sounds like you plan on cutting her loose anyway.'

'There are circumstances. Normally, that would mean I would be extremely put out with anyone who touched her—I really don't like being made a fool of like that—but help me do well on this and I'll turn a blind eye. Maybe you'll even be doing me a favour, keeping her occupied.'

Blaise took a moment to consider the pros and cons of making a deal with Malfoy. Slytherin House—as well as society at large—had a very strong hierarchical system based on blood and power. Blaise wasn't exactly the Alpha around here. He was more like the Beta or actually the Gamma whenever Theo bothered to have an opinion about something, which rarely happened. Draco Malfoy was, however, the undisputed Alpha in spite of what had happened during the war. He could make Blaise's life a living hell if he should be so inclined. Still, as Beta (or Gamma) Blaise wasn't completely powerless. He could fight back if needed.

'I didn't realise you were failing classes so badly,' he said, trying to buy more time to think.

Pansy would not appreciate being bartered if she ever found out—"if" being the operative word. And it sure would make Blaise's life easier to have the blessing of Malfoy when messing with his girlfriend.

'Being bullied by a Dark Lord for a few years wreaks havoc with one's studies. I will need an _Exceeds Expectations_ on this essay alone to be allowed to complete all my NEWTs.'

Blaise's lips twisted downwards in another sneer. He'd had a perfectly fine average himself last year and was extremely annoyed that some idiots had decided that he should waste another year of his life here to get valid NEWTs whilst all those sanctimonious gits that had battled the Dark Lord got a free pass—even those that hadn't even shown up for their seventh year were apparently eligible for occupations normally requiring NEWTs, just because they'd put their lives on the line.

Because putting yourself in mortal danger was just that smart.

Idiots. The lot of them.

He looked back at Pansy yet again. He didn't _need_ Malfoy to be fine with it to pursue her. After all, he'd already been doing so for a few months without Malfoy being that much the wiser. Still, he did like things to be easy...

'Fine,' he said. 'I'll help. But you don't let her know.'

Malfoy looked genuinely surprised. 'Of course not. That would just make things more complicated for everyone.'

'And you also help me get her alone until she stops running.'

'Oh, what is this? The infamous Blaise Zabini can't even get one little witch alone?' Malfoy laughed.

Blaise gave Malfoy the same look he would give a slug that had left a trail across his favourite robes. 'I can, I have, and I will. But she's going to think she's cheating on you.'

'Oh, if you succeed, she'll be cheating on me. I just won't care.'

'Same difference.'

'Not really. Don't get caught by anyone else. I'll have to pretend ignorance and it would be very unpleasant for you. For both of you.'

Blaise didn't reply. If he had his way, this stupid arrangement would only be temporary anyway.

***

'Hello, Pansy.'

Pansy swung around, hand to her chest, and then scowled at the grinning git. Yes, scaring someone walking alone along the dark corridor of the castle where they had become _extremely_ unpopular with certain people after being on the wrong side of a war was so much fun! She liked harassment as much as the next Slytherin, just not when it was aimed at _her_.

'Blaise,' she hissed. 'What do you want?'

'You know what I want.' He came closer to her.

'Forget it.'

'I can't forget it. Can you?'

She looked away, her cheeks slightly colouring. 'It was a mistake. Stop bringing it up!'

He reached out to play with a lock of her hair and she jerked back. He exhaled deeply. 'Some mistake, Pansy. What do you think Malfoy would say if he found out?'

'He would hurt you. You wouldn't want that.'

'Mmm, I think I'd live. But he'd also drop you like a ton of bricks, wouldn't he?'

He would. 'You promised not to tell him.'

'I didn't tell him. But you're going to have to make me promise again.'

'H-how?' Pansy played dumb, desperately searching her mind for a way out. It was dangerous to play with Blaise Zabini. She would get busted and burnt. She couldn't afford that. Not with the way Draco's eye had been roving lately.

It really had been a huge mistake to give in to Blaise's advances that one time. She had just been depressed because Draco had been slipping away, and she'd enjoyed feeling wanted by someone as handsome as Blaise. She'd thought she'd been in control, but Blaise had been too sly and experienced for her and it had got out of hand. The success had then encouraged Blaise to continuously attempt to get her alone again, making her nervous that Draco would find out.

Draco was so close to letting her go; she could feel it. Only the facts that they had a history and she was the best match he could be arsed to find currently kept them together.

And the fact that she loved him, of course. But Draco didn't actually seem to care much about that. The one time she'd tried telling him had only resulted in an awkward "_thank you_" from him.

One day. One day, he would open his eyes and realise what they had. He would be sorry that he'd taken her for granted and she would forgive him. They would get married and have a family, and this would just have been part of the painful road to get there.

'You know how.' Blaise crowded her personal space, guiding her back against the cold stone wall. Story of her life.

'Forget it, Blaise.'

'You were a virgin,' he breathed in her ear. 'I bet he won't ever forgive you for throwing your innocence at me.'

She closed her eyes and desperately swallowed to get rid of the lump forming in her throat. He was right. Just one more reason why Draco could never know. 'I never meant to go that far.'

He growled at her and hit the wall next to her head. 'Don't you dare do that! Don't pretend like you're some innocent little damsel and I'm some baddie who raped you. You asked for it. You enjoyed it. You writhed. You moaned. You came. You begged me to continue. Then you came again. And again.' His voice got huskier as he seemed to recollect the sequence of events and he lowered his head to brush his lips against her neck.

She didn't need the reminder. She was still horrified at how far she'd allowed herself to go that night. Horrified, scared, and aroused. Blaise was good at finding a witch's every weakness and exploiting them for his own ends, he really was. There was simply something about him—more than his handsome face—that made it hard to ever say no to him.

'I've come again and again just thinking about it,' he murmured against her ear. 'I've never had such great sex with a virgin before.'

That snapped her out of the worst of it. 'Really?' she breathed. 'I'll be sure to pass that along to Lisa Turpin. Word has it you took her virginity... last week, was it?' She pushed him just far enough away for her heartbeat to return to semi-normal.

He didn't look the least perturbed. 'Jealous?' he asked with a smirk.

'You just don't get it, do you?' she asked. 'I want _Draco_, not you.'

'Isn't it time you got over Malfoy and moved on?'

Pansy snorted. 'Onto what? You?'

'Sounds like a plan to me...' He moved closer again.

She held up her arms, keeping him from kissing her or whatever he had in mind. 'No. Draco may not be perfect, but at least he manages to keep it in his pants most of the time.'

'I didn't realise you wanted fidelity from me.'

'I don't want—It's common courtesy not to pursue more than one person at a time!'

Common courtesy was probably not the right term, but whatever it was, Blaise certainly didn't have it. He was dangerous because he'd make you feel good about yourself, make you feel desirable, only to make you realise that it was all just castles in the air when the next witch came along.

'I never pursued Turpin. I just slept with her,' he said as if he honestly didn't understand.

She groaned with exasperation. 'I cannot believe I'm even having this conversation with you.'

'Sometimes sex is just sex, Pansy. It feels good and that's it. That's all it is.'

'Oh, I know. That's what happened between you and me.'

Again, she didn't get much of a reaction. 'Maybe. But it felt _really_ good and I want more.'

'I already said—!'

'I'll give you some time to think about it. Three days. By then you should have figured out how much my silence is worth to you.'

'You won't tell him,' she said, hearing her own uncertainty.

'Are you prepared to test that?' he muttered, then he was gone.

***

Blaise paced the floor of the unused office. She was late. He'd made sure to pick both a time and a place that suited her, yet she was late.

Woe to her if she didn't show up at all. He would consider that a "no" and, besides, you didn't just stand Blaise Zabini up like this and get away with it!

Especially not when he was so anxious for her to show.

She was reluctant, he knew that, but she was working under a faulty assumption; she thought she had a chance with Malfoy. The sooner she realised that she didn't, the sooner she would accept her fate and fall in love with the next best thing—him!

Of course he would have loved to have been her first choice, but that wasn't how it went with girls like her. They reacted to the lineage and the power first and basic attraction second. She was attracted to him. She would learn to love him. He had everything it took to make her happy, so it really wouldn't even be like settling to her. In fact, she was quite lucky that he was so interested in her. Most witches in her position would ultimately have to move far lower on the chain when they got dumped, because they'd have to be a rare good match to have more elite wizards fawning over them. Pansy was a decent match, but nothing spectacular in terms of funds and family name.

But where _was_ she?

Finally, she showed and he stopped pacing to give her a haughty look. 'You're late!'

'I know,' she simply said, reluctantly moving into the room.

His heart began pounding. He'd been so looking forward to tonight, telling himself that she couldn't say no, that there was no way she would risk Draco finding out that they'd slept together, but now he was actually nervous that she'd do just that.

'So what'll it be?' he hoarsely asked.

'Can't we compromise?'

Blaise tried to decipher what she meant with that but came up blank. 'What do you mean?'

She slowly walked towards him. 'I, um, asked around and I've been led to believe that you enjoy some things that aren't... aren't intercourse?'

The vulnerability in her voice was making him hard before the words registered. 'You did what?'

'I even asked Daphne to explain to me how it's done. She said she'd done it before. To you. And that you'd liked it.'

'You're offering to suck me off so I won't have "intercourse" with you?'

She blushed again, still a virgin in spirit, and looked away. 'Yes.'

Part of him was angry at the offer. One of his best fantasies was to be sucked off by her. The way she was offering it was kind of ruining the fantasy. He couldn't quite put his finger on why, though. She was willing, wasn't she? And she'd probably even enjoy doing it. If last time had been any indication, he couldn't do anything to her she wouldn't enjoy. She was quite naughty for an innocent.

Maybe he was just disappointed that she'd been late and didn't seem too keen on having sex with him again even though he'd offered her the perfect opportunity to persuade herself that there was no other way.

He shrugged, seeing no valid reason to refuse. 'Sure, if you prefer oral sex, I can live with that.' And she _had_ greatly enjoyed it the last time his head had been buried between her legs. There was no way anyone could fake that amount of enthusiasm.

'But only _on_ you,' she said as if guessing his thoughts. 'I'll do it on you and then you won't tell Draco about the fact that we had sex. Ever.'

Blaise's back stiffened. 'I'd hardly call that a compromise, Pansy. In fact, I'd call that a really bad deal.'

Pansy bit her lip. 'Then what do you want?'

_For you to realise that I'm the one you should be with!_

'How about something more satisfying?' he asked.

'What could I possibly give you? You frequently have sex with witches that are much more experienced than me!'

That was true. But she seemed to fail to understand the appeal she held to him. 'I enjoyed your enthusiasm very much.'

'No,' she quietly replied. 'You enjoyed that I was Draco's. That's really what you get off on. For once stealing something of his, if only for a time.'

If she only knew. 'Trust me. Malfoy has nothing to do with it. I just got tired of waiting for the two of you to break up before trying to get what I wanted.' This wasn't exactly true, but it never hurt to let a witch think that you'd wanted her longer than you actually had.

Any witch enjoyed being wanted, but Pansy... she was starved for it. Her pale git wasn't delivering on any level, it seemed.

'What do I get in exchange for—for oral sex?' she asked, half-turning her head. She was probably trying to hide the blush that Blaise had already seen. She really wouldn't be a problem.

'I return the favour.'

'No! I mean, with regard to Draco.'

He shook his head. She really was expecting him to be nicer than he was. That was the problem with birds. As soon as you slept with them, they thought you cared about them in areas that had nothing to do with you. 'You can't honestly expect me to be satisfied with one measly blow job.'

'I'd do my best to make it good.'

He was sure she would and his loins were aching with want. Just the thought of her lips wrapped around his cock was making him ready to burst.

He took a deep breath. She didn't know how she affected him. It was better if she didn't find out. Giving witches that kind of power over you was always a bad idea. 'Once a week, then.'

She stared incredulously at him. 'What?'

'Get me off one way or the other once a week and I won't tell him.'

'Th-that's... unthinkable!' She looked aghast at the very idea.

'Come on, Pansy. You expect me not to tell Draco about us and not to attempt to have sex with anyone else. I deserve a _little_ release, don't you think?' Blaise wasn't above applying any kind of pressure he could.

She blushed again but narrowed her eyes at him. 'I never asked you not to have sex with anyone else.'

'Sure you did. And I'm getting really horny.'

'It was _three days_ ago and all I said—'

'I'm pursuing you,' he said, taking the last few steps towards her, closing the gap between them, 'and you said that meant I couldn't pursue anyone else.'

'I didn't mean it like that,' she quietly replied.

He took her hand and guided it down his front to rest on the embarrassingly obvious bulge. She gasped and tried to withdraw it, but he kept it in place, allowing his eyes to close on a shiver. 'I'm a sexual being.'

'I know.'

She tried to withdraw her hand again, but he still kept it in place. He enjoyed her touch so much. He enjoyed it even more when it was willing, but soon it would be. He could feel her pulse speeding up and hear the way her breathing had become shallow and uneven. He even felt her fingers somewhat reluctantly outlining the hardness pressed against the fabric.

He missed being inside her. He wanted to take her now when she wasn't a virgin. He'd been holding back the last time, trying not to hurt her too much, and it had driven him insane to feel her muscles clench around him, beckoning him to surge forwards, and having to hold back and be gentle.

Usually it wasn't that much of a problem, but that time he'd just wanted to lose his head and go into a mating frenzy. He'd only held back for her, because once he'd realised that she was innocent, he'd made his decision and had taken extra care to make it a good experience for her. And he'd damn well succeeded.

'It was good,' he whispered, letting go of her hand and feeling relief when she didn't remove it.

'I know,' she whispered back.

'I'm not asking you to love me,' he continued, slowly pulling her skirt up, feeling almost ready to go off the very moment he felt skin. He was very happy that Pansy seemed to favour skirts outside of wearing school robes. They showed her legs off and made her very accessible. Accessibility was a huge plus. He favoured trousers for the same reason. 'I'm not asking you to forget him.' _Yet._

'I have to be faithful to him.'

'No, you don't. He's not faithful to you.'

'Please don't remind me.'

'I'm sorry,' he muttered, lowering his head to catch the scent from her hair. 'Think of this as revenge, then. I'm here for you to use whenever you feel like it.'

'Or whenever _you_ feel like it.'

'I always feel like it,' he rasped, swallowing when her hand moved up and then inside his trousers, seeking out his flesh. She was a natural for him, and he was so damn ready for her.

'You're shaking,' she whispered.

'Just touch me. Won't take long,' he bit out. Later he'd probably be embarrassed, but right now he just needed to come.

She began stroking him in agonizingly slow motions, only slowly making it faster. It was heaven and hell all rolled into one. He had to kiss her. Had to. He'd promised himself to try not to kiss her tonight, but he failed. Spectacularly. And she yielded to him.

This was enough. This was all he needed. For now, it didn't have to be more than this. It was amazing how she just seemed to _know_ how he wanted her to touch him. He couldn't even remember when he'd last gone for something as simple as a hand job, but Pansy's touch was definitely worth it.

Burying his head in her neck, he came into her hand with a strangled groan.

'Week one,' she whispered, making a dent in his afterglow.

He swallowed, hoping for a steady voice. 'Week one,' he confirmed. 'I won't be this easy every week.'

'Neither will I,' she replied.

***

Malfoy threw down his quill and leant back with a sigh. He didn't seem to enjoy these study sessions any more than Blaise did. But at least Malfoy had a _reason_ to want these sessions, whereas Blaise didn't quite understand why he himself was putting up with them. What one wouldn't do for the chance of a fucking _hand job_ from some girl. It was almost embarrassing.

Except Pansy wasn't "some girl". He had plans for her. Or, rather, he had plans for himself and she fit in perfectly. It had to be her. No one else in this wretched place would do.

He just needed to convince her first. He doubted there was any way for him to arrange matters without her consent, even if he should be able to buy her parents. Or rather, he knew there wasn't a way. He'd asked his solicitor. At the most, he might be able to get her father to try to force her, but seeing as Malfoy had a much better standing than Blaise, Blaise was likely to just get punished severely for trying.

He had to get the witch's consent.

'Get anywhere with Pansy yet?' Malfoy asked, hiding a yawn behind his hand.

Blaise blinked. 'I'm reporting to you now?'

Malfoy shrugged. 'Just making conversation. But maybe it would work better for both of us if we worked together rather than against each other. We have no conflict of interest.'

Except they did. Malfoy didn't let her go because she was his pure-blood witch of choice. It wasn't inconceivable that his family was already working on putting together an offer for Pansy and that she had every intention of accepting it.

Blaise forced his face to stay blank, though. Pretending to play nice might serve him in the long run. 'True. Well, you'll be happy to know that she's reluctant to cheat on you.'

Malfoy nodded. 'I thought she might be. She fancies herself in love with me, you know.'

'Yes. She told me.' Blaise carefully unclenched his fists so he wouldn't give himself away.

'And she's a virgin. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to keep her, so I made sure not to do anything she could later use against me. It's probably harder for her to give it up if she has some illusions about what her first time should be like.'

Blaise did his very best not to look smug. She'd already given _that_ part up and it had been everything it should be and more. If she regretted the fact that he hadn't been this git instead, then it was her loss. He'd cared much more about her comfort than Malfoy would have.

'I'll make her give it up,' he just said.

Malfoy nodded. 'Good. I don't like virgins, anyway. What with the blood and the tears...' He wrinkled his nose.

Blaise raised an eyebrow, becoming interested in the conversation for the first time. 'Tears? Maybe you've been doing it wrong.'

Malfoy shook his head, looking put out. 'No. I mean, sure, I could probably have been a little gentler if I'd known how much it would hurt, but... it was awful. And then she refused to see me again.'

Yeah, that hadn't been how Pansy had been, not at all. 'Word of advice, mate. Be more careful next time.'

'I thought I was,' Malfoy muttered. 'Guess not, though. I mean... at first I thought she was overreacting, but then I saw the blood... I always thought it'd just be a little bit, not bloody murder.'

'Maybe it was her time of the month.'

'No, it wasn't. Does it bleed more if you're not careful enough, do you know?'

That was something Blaise had certainly never thought about. 'I don't think so.'

'I really didn't want it to go that way. I wish she'd just gone ahead and fucked that—' He abruptly cut off. 'I mean, I wish she hadn't been a virgin. It would have been easier and better.'

'It's done now. If you manage to get her alone again, she won't hurt or bleed this time. Unless you're really rough, of course, but then it's your own damn fault.'

Malfoy's eyes widened a fraction at the mention of being rough and then he looked uncharacteristically uncertain for a moment, before he asked, 'Uh, is it... is it possible to accidentally be that rough without knowing it?'

Blaise stared. This was unbelievable. 'What are you? A fucking virgin yourself?'

Malfoy snarled at that. 'Of course not! But I didn't expect to hurt her so much and you're the resident male slut, aren't you?'

Blaise rolled his eyes. Right. He couldn't believe that Malfoy hadn't just practiced on Pansy if he was this inexperienced. What a ponce. 'No, it's not really possible,' he said, doing his best to mock Malfoy by just sounding patient. 'Not if you check that she's ready for you or use a lubricant and don't get too carried away to notice if she says "ow". Anything else?'

Malfoy shook his head. 'Just break Pansy in good for me, will you?' he muttered. 'I really don't want another experience like that again.'

Blaise had to fight back a snarl of his own. Why was Malfoy so convinced he could keep Pansy? There was no way in hell that Blaise would allow that!

***

Pansy walked up to the wall and then blinked, looking down each side of the corridor. This was where he'd asked—no, demanded—that she meet him.

Blaise.

Her week was up.

She had to please him again or face the consequences.

She really wished that didn't make her belly feel like someone had unleashed a small army of butterflies in there.

In a way, Blaise scared her. He was really ruthless whenever he wanted something and he clearly wanted her. She knew without a doubt that he was capable of going much further than blackmail to get his way and that this would only temporarily stall him.

Yet, in another way, she didn't feel like he would ever hurt her—which was stupid, considering how he had a recent history of actually doing that—but there was just something about his voice, his eyes, and that damn handsome face of his that said _trust me_.

Pansy knew she had a weakness for boys with strong personalities. She'd loved Draco as far back as she could remember for his quick wit and his ability to get others to follow his lead. He was The One for her.

Blaise, however, represented a raw, sexual force that she had proved anything but immune against. It was so tempting to give in and let him please her the way she knew he wanted to. She couldn't give in, though. She refused to let him please her. At least this way, when she only did it to avoid losing Draco, she could have a clear conscience about her own motives and responses.

And maybe she'd learn how to please Draco in the process. She knew she was losing him to someone else, but maybe if she managed to keep him happy, sexually, he would stay.

Maybe if she was able to give him mind-blowing orgasms, he would forget about this other witch and realise that he really loved her.

There had to be a way. There had to.

'Watch this,' someone breathed into her ear and she jumped. _Blaise_. Ugh. Why was he always sneaking up on her like this?

He walked back and forth along the wall and a door appeared which he opened to reveal a richly furnished bedroom. He motioned for Pansy to enter with him.

Pansy's jaw dropped. 'What _is_ this room?'

'It's convenient, is what it is,' Blaise said. He was sounding smug as usual.

'How did you know how to get it to appear?'

'Ah. A friend told me.'

A friend? She looked at the bed and then went from amazed to disappointed in the space of one second as something occurred to her. 'You've brought others here, haven't you? It's where you bring your girls.'

'For someone who claims not to be jealous, you sure sound it, Pansy.'

She shook her head. 'I'm not one of your girls, Blaise. I'm not doing anything with or to you in here.'

She made to leave, but he stayed her rather effectively with his hands on her shoulders. 'Relax. I didn't even know how to gain access to this room until yesterday. Apparently big things happened here a few times during the war, but it's just always managed to elude me that I could use it like this. And, besides, if I'd known about it, don't you think I'd have brought _you_ here that time?'

Pansy's eyes widened as some things clicked. 'Oh! So this is where Draco...'

'Yeah. He would know about it,' Blaise said. 'But I don't want to talk about him. In fact, I don't want to talk at all.' One of his hands began caressing her neck and he leant forward.

Quick thinking! She abruptly turned around and took a step into the room and away from Blaise. 'So, this room has everything you want for sex, huh?'

He growled behind her. 'Everything but a willing witch.'

Pansy closed her eyes. She had to be careful how much she provoked him. She didn't actually know if Blaise would physically overpower her if he felt he had to. He wasn't used to not getting his way and he really did believe in using any means necessary. She didn't really think he'd _want_ her that way, but if he somehow felt it served a higher purpose...

'I'm willing,' she quietly said, 'as long as you stick to the agreement.'

'Then why didn't you let me kiss you?'

She took a deep breath and turned back around with what she hoped was a playful smile. 'Because then we'd have ended up in bed and I wouldn't have had time to make my request.'

'And what's that?' He looked slightly wary.

'I-I want to suck you off. Like I offered last time.'

He shook his head. 'What is this? Some kind of scheme to keep me out of your knickers forever? It won't work.'

'I'm aware of that,' she said, her voice shaking lightly, 'but I heard about how much you loved it and... I want to learn how to do it.'

He eyed her suspiciously. 'Why?'

_Because Draco won't sleep with me because he thinks I'm a virgin and he thinks it would mean he'd have to marry me, but I want to keep him tied to me with lust until I can tie him to me with love._

'Because I want to please you?'

Blaise's lips drew back in a sneer. 'No, you want me to teach you how to please _him_!'

'Does it matter where I use it as long as I practice on you?' Blaise was definitely the possessive type, and she didn't want to anger him, but he could hardly demand she kept her hands off her own boyfriend!

'It matters. I won't tolerate you being a slut.'

'He's my boyfriend! If anything, I'm a slut for sleeping with you—who by the way redefine the word slut.'

He ignored her calling him a slut. Of course he did. The common mindset among proud pure-blood males didn't generally include sexual equality. 'You slept with me because part of you knows that I can give you something he can't,' he just said.

'And what would that be?'

He stepped closer to her, his gaze turning intense. 'Everything.'

'Clever. And conveniently vague.'

He reached out to cup her cheek. 'Everything, Pansy.'

She didn't like the way he was looking at her, so she turned her head away. 'You didn't reply to whether you'd let me do it.'

He hesitated.

She tried to coax him. 'Once I learn, I'll have real sex with you again. I promise.' Not like it could hurt much any more anyway. And he could probably teach her some things there as well.

He still didn't reply.

Pansy ground her teeth and looked him straight in the eye. 'Everyone says you love it. Everyone. Not just Daphne. Why are you acting like you don't?' And why was it that when she'd made casual inquiries about Blaise's habits and preferences, absolutely every single witch seemed to have more insight than Pansy?

It had been just another testament to how he enjoyed playing with Draco's toy. But he was forgetting one thing: Pansy didn't count on staying a toy forever. Some day Draco would love her and finally consider her his equal. When that day came, she planned on forgetting this feeling of just being some _thing_ as fast as she could.

'I don't love the thought of you performing my fantasies on him,' he finally said.

'Deal with it!' she hissed. 'If it were up to me, he and I would fuck like bunnies whilst you'd be off with your slapper of the day!'

His hand slid down to her neck and around to the back of her head where it grabbed her hair. 'I'll teach you,' he then said. 'But then we meet twice a week.'

Her eyes widened. 'What?'

'Twice. Each week. You and me.'

'You can't just—!'

'I just did! You can't expect me to go a full week without either sex or killing him as consolation for how you're pleasing him, using everything _I_ teach you.'

She opened her mouth to tell him to go to hell, but changed her mind at the last second. Not losing Draco would be worth it. It was worth everything. 'Fine,' she whispered. 'But if you trick me in any way, I'll walk away, because then this won't matter any more.'

Blaise shook his head, looking strangely sad. 'You really think a blow job will keep him around if nothing else will?'

'You really think I'm going to take relationship advice from someone like you?'

He gave her a forced smile and tightened his hand painfully in her hair. 'We're agreed, then. You suck me off until you're not rubbish at it and we meet twice a week now.'

'Who says I'll be rubbish at it?'

'Everyone is rubbish at it at first. Don't worry. I'll tell you what to do.'


	2. Chapter 2

Letting go of Pansy, Blaise turned away and began stripping off his clothes. Ideally, Pansy would have been stripping him, but he wasn't really in the mood for that kind of foreplay. He tried to keep his movements from being too jerky, but he couldn't look her in the eyes just now.

Tutoring her in how to fuck Malfoy. Fucking priceless. She wasn't supposed to touch anyone else _ever_, but there was very little he could do about this. If he refused to help her, who knew who she'd turn to for help? And if he pushed his blackmailing too far by refusing to help her and demanding she didn't get help from anyone else, she might rebel against him and he would have lost.

So he would have to stand by and let her sleep with that git when she should belong to _him_ alone.

'You're being quiet,' she said behind him.

He turned his head just a bit to the side. 'Remove your shirt. And bra.'

He could hear her obeying. At least that was something.

'Daphne said that too,' she muttered. 'That you liked for her breasts to be bare.'

He closed his eyes. _Fuck Daphne!_ 'Are you going to keep mentioning her with every other sentence?'

'She likes you, you know.'

He knew. But she'd never stood a chance with him and everyone knew that as well. She'd just been another witch to pass the time with. This was proving to be annoying. In hindsight, choosing to dawdle with Pansy's friends might not have been the best idea, but he couldn't have known that when he'd first begun. He hadn't been interested in Pansy back then. 'I don't really care.'

'No, of course you don't.'

His movements froze at the tone of her voice. 'I'm not completely unfeeling, Pansy; it's just not appropriate conversation.' And, besides, if Daphne had become emotionally invested, it was on her own damn head. She knew he didn't consider them a couple.

Pansy made a face. 'Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know there was a blow job etiquette.'

He didn't even try not to sneer at her. 'You're one sarcastic bitch.'

'And you're one manipulative and conceited tosser. I bet your love of being sucked off is due to having the witches on their knees and unable to talk back.'

'Then you're only half right.' He finished undressing and sat down on the bed. 'I prefer a more comfortable position where I sit and you lie on your belly next to me.'

She crawled onto the bed and then moved towards him on all four. Despite of the wary look in her eyes, it was probably the sexiest thing he'd seen in a long while. Good. He was going to need to see some sexy to be able to get hard.

'So I just lie there and...' She blushed a little.

'Yes.'

She bit her lip. Mmm, quite the delicious image. Maybe this wouldn't be a problem at all.

'And I'm going to be rubbish at it, you say,' she asked. He loved that innocence. He wanted to fuck that innocence into the ground.

He leant back on his elbows. 'It doesn't matter.'

'Wh-what if I can't make you... I mean...'

'You don't honestly doubt that you can make me come, do you?' He'd refrained from even masturbating for days. Pansy was the kind of witch who took it personally if you lasted too long the first time of the night. Soon enough he'd bring her around to a more sensible way of thinking, but for now he planned on giving her this ego boost.

Her blush deepened. 'Daphne said—'

'Stop fucking mentioning Daphne!' He immediately regretted his outburst when he saw the startled look on Pansy's face, but this was really hitting a nerve with him.

She narrowed her eyes at him. '_Daphne said_ that sometimes it was hard, that sometimes it took a very long time and her mouth went dry and her jaw ached from the effort. She said that one time she even had to give up.'

How could he explain to Pansy that Daphne was a slag, who'd largely lost her appeal a long time ago, and that half the times he slept with her he was so pissed it was a wonder he could get it up at all?

'But she's not you!' he finally said, hoping she'd take it as a flattery.

Pansy cocked her head. 'Of course. I forgot. It turns you on that I am me.'

How she managed to make that sound like a bad thing, he didn't even know. 'Yes. It does. Go ahead and familiarise yourself with it.' He nodded towards his not quite hard cock. Under more normal circumstances he'd have been ready to burst with her semi-nude and about to suck him, but all this talk of Malfoy and Daphne...

Her gaze flickered. 'Wh— you mean...?'

'You need to know how to handle it if you want to be any good.'

'And how would that be?'

'I don't know. You seemed to handle it well enough last time.'

She bit her lip again—lovely!—and reached out to grab him, forcing him to suppress a moan. Yes. This was more like it.

'There's a lot of... skin...' she muttered, frowning, and almost absent-mindedly caressing him up and down, making him grow rapidly harder with each stroke.

'There is,' he replied. 'And I'd thank you to get it caught on neither nails nor teeth. I'm not going to go into details, but "ow".'

She got an annoyed look. 'Speaking from experience, as usual.'

'My experience is why you're here, isn't it?' He didn't understand why she seemed so put off that he knew what he was doing. It was why she'd slept with him to begin with, and it was the reason she'd now decided to use him to practise on.

She didn't reply but simply quickly dipped her head to flick her tongue out at the head of his cock.

He was unprepared for the soft, wet touch and couldn't stifle the groan this time.

'I know that sound,' she purred.

'Yes, you have good instincts, I'll give you that.' He slowly let go of the bedspread, which he'd hardly noticed he'd dug his fingers into. Uncontrolled responses were unusual for him and a really good indicator of just how much he wanted her.

'I'm just not sure what to do with it when it's in my mouth,' she said. 'And how do I keep from drooling all over the place?'

He swallowed, hating his own responses to her. Maybe he should pick a witch he responded less to. He didn't like the thought of spending his life with a witch who had him firmly by the cock. Nothing was set in stone yet, though; no offers had been made. There was no reason not to enjoy himself in the moment.

'Don't think about it so much. Just do it.'

She grabbed a firmer hold of him and then took him into her mouth. Her teeth scraped against him a little and it was kind of awkward as if she didn't know what to do with him—which she probably didn't—but it was a start and besides, _his cock was in her mouth_.

She moved experimentally and he actually had to brace himself when her tongue once again slid across his glans. She pulled back and frowned. 'I'm doing this wrong.'

He just wanted her to continue. 'There's really no way to find a rhythm and an angle that you're comfortable with except trying it.'

'This is so embarrassing. So glad you're not Draco.' It was a low murmur that he'd probably not been meant to hear.

Part of him died a little. A very visible part of him. He hurriedly glanced at her breasts to disguise his reaction. And then her lips. And then there were her eyes. He didn't know why her eyes turned him on, they just did. Everything about her excited him, really. 'Don't be embarrassed,' he said, not attempting to hide he'd heard. 'Just quit whinging and start sucking!'

Her eyes widened in surprise at his rude demand, but he didn't care. He wanted to treat her well, to be good to her—he really did! But if she was going to not care if she hurt him, he could hurt her right back. He wasn't going to let some witch get the better of him. Not even Pansy.

***

Pansy swallowed nervously. She was annoying him. She was botching this whole thing so badly that he was actually losing his erection and she'd barely even started. This didn't bode well. If she couldn't please Blaise Fucking Zabini, who'd fuck anything with two tits and a vagina, then how could she even dream of pleasing someone as picky as Draco?

She leant in and tried taking him in her mouth again. It was a weird sensation and she wasn't really sure whether she liked either the texture or the taste, but it was just one of those things that all men loved. She'd have to get used to at least doing it sometimes, she supposed.

'Oh, your enthusiasm is killing me,' he said, sounding bored.

This wasn't humiliating at all. 'I'm trying!' she bit out.

'But you see, Pansy,' he said as if about to explain something very important to her, 'whilst it's true that certain sensations at the back of your throat can lead to gagging, going in, looking as if you might gag before you even get started, isn't going to turn _anyone_ on. You might as well not do it, then.'

She felt her cheeks heat. 'You said I'd have no problems getting you off.'

'I was labouring under the false assumption that you'd at least try to enjoy it.'

Pansy blinked. 'Enjoy it? Why would _I_ enjoy it? It's all about you, isn't it?'

'Maybe you'd enjoy it because it feels brilliant to give someone else pleasure like that, and it's a great rush to have the power of having them at your mercy, begging you for more?' he asked. Pansy was trying to digest that, scrunching up her face, when Blaise sighed. 'Remove your knickers,' he quietly said.

She blinked. 'No! I didn't learn this yet!'

'I'm going to teach you another lesson. Remove them.'

Pansy knew better than not to obey him, but she did so reluctantly. She wasn't ready to allow him to have sex with her again. 'Maybe I could try again?' she offered. He didn't reply, and eventually her knickers were off and there was just her skirt left. It didn't protect a whole lot of her modesty. 'Do you need me to completely undress?' she quietly asked.

'No.' Then he did something surprising and got to his feet and kneeled in front of where she sat, grabbing her and pulling her to the edge.

Her eyes widened when she realised what he might do. 'That's not necessary!' she quickly said.

'Don't worry,' he growled. 'I'll make it fast.'

She didn't really have the opportunity to object any more, because he'd already parted her legs and was feeling her with one hand, finding all the sensitive spots. It was all wrong. Only Draco should be so intimate with her. Only Draco should make her come.

'You really don't need—'

'Lie back!' he commanded. She'd really made him angry. She didn't dare decline.

This had happened before. That night, he'd done it. At the time, she'd been too mindless to really consider how intimate this position was, and he'd made her come so hard that she'd quite possibly forgotten her own name for just a second.

She felt his hot breath and fingers caressing her, quickly followed by his tongue, stroking up and down. She didn't want to like it. Didn't want to picture it. Didn't want to think about how he was solely fixated on getting her to orgasm right now. He pressed a finger into her and she gasped. Nothing had been inside her since that night. She'd forgotten how good it felt.

She thought he moaned, but then he began moving his finger in a determined rhythm and matching that rhythm with his tongue stroking over her clit, massaging, adding and relieving pressure.

'Stop, I get it!' she whimpered, clenching and unclenching her fists as she didn't know what to do with her hands.

He ignored her.

Of course he did.

It was so difficult to lie still, to just take it; she wanted to gyrate her hips against him, but that would be vulgar. She wasn't one of his bitches in heat. She was only here because she had to be.

Nevertheless, when he pressed his finger against a particularly sensitive spot inside her whilst suddenly changing his tongue-stroking to an almost painful sucking of her clit, she couldn't do anything to stop herself from climaxing. Hard. It was so much more intense than anything she could ever hope to achieve on her own—she'd actually tried—and she hated that he had that power.

He drew back without a word and then sat down on the bed with his back against the headboard.

'Mind telling me what that point was?' she asked, feeling a little bit bitter that she hadn't been able to withstand him.

'You enjoyed that.'

She looked away. She supposed she had. At least physically. Blaise had a way with witches where he could always get whatever he wanted from them. She wished she could attribute that appeal to magic, but she was fairly sure it was all him.

'You enjoyed that because I enjoyed it. Because I was into it and eager to please you. I wasn't making faces or being reluctant or sending you "are we done yet?" signals.'

'Point taken,' she muttered.

'I _really_ need a wank now, so if you want, you can go.'

She looked up, surprised. But then she decided that she wasn't going to argue and hurriedly got dressed and left.

***

It wasn't often that Blaise cursed his own temper, but for the next few days, he did. He really, really did. He'd probably scared Pansy off oral sex forever now. Damn it. He'd just... lashed out. He wanted her to want him like he wanted her, was that really so much to ask? She'd be happier if she just gave in to him.

Still, he supposed he shouldn't have done that. He'd embarrassed her. He'd made her think she was no good at a task he _really_ wanted to encourage her to practise. And now she'd barely even look at him.

'Did you put the Room of Requirement to good use, then?' Malfoy asked.

Blaise really loathed Malfoy and these study sessions. They had relocated to the library for them—which thankfully meant less talking—but just spending time around Malfoy made Blaise's skin itch.

'Yes.'

'So she's no longer a virgin?'

Blaise considered but then decided he might as well tell the truth. 'No, she's not.'

'Excellent! Knew I could count on you!'

What kind of idiotic wizard didn't want to take his own girlfriend's virginity? Blaise had never been so lucky as to catch the actual affections of a witch before the deed was done—although, granted, he'd been known to be the one to do the deed, affections or not. Still, never had a good, virginal, pure-blood witch wanted to be with him and only him, no matter what other options they might have.

Hell, not even Daphne had ever wanted him just for him. She mostly had her eye on him because he was far better than her other prospects, and by now she'd been able to talk him into her bed for far too long, so now she thought it meant something.

'Maidenheads don't have fangs, you know,' he muttered.

'I suppose. I still prefer things this way, though. Did she bleed a lot?'

'No. Hardly at all. She didn't cry either. But she might possibly have cursed my name.' Malfoy looked startled and Blaise rolled his eyes and amended the statement, 'Figuratively speaking! For seducing her.'

'Ah.' Malfoy nodded. 'She'll get over it. She always does.'

Blaise didn't really think there'd been precedence for how Pansy would react to being deflowered by someone who was not the wizard she hoped to marry.

'Why are you so preoccupied with Pansy, anyway? Weren't you entertaining yourself with one or possibly more other witches?' he irritably asked.

'Of course. But she's my girlfriend, isn't she?'

Blaise debated with himself whether it was really worth it to ask the next question, but then decided to hell with it all. 'You are going to keep her?'

Malfoy nodded. 'She's a decent girl of a good background who's ready to settle down as soon as we leave here. I'd be a fool to let her go.'

Blaise felt like his life had just got a lot more complicated.

***

'So what's with you and Blaise?' Daphne asked in a low faux-excited voice that just barely hid her jealousy as they were making their way to class.

Pansy made an effort not to roll her eyes. Today, Pansy was supposed to meet Blaise again, but fortunately Daphne didn't know about that. Not only was Daphne a self-serving bitch, but she was a jealous one at that. 'Nothing's going on. You know I have Draco.'

'Right. That's why you've been asking around about Blaise so much.' Daphne sniffed.

'Did you ever stop to think that maybe it was less about Blaise and more about the acts everyone has been performing _on_ Blaise?' Pansy did very little to hide her annoyance. Daphne tended to forget her place much too often.

'So you're saying—' Daphne was rudely interrupted as someone barged into her, dropping an armful of books in the process. 'Look where you're going, bitch!'

Pansy looked on with very little interest as Mudblood Granger scowled at Daphne and picked up her books. She was one of the only "heroes" that had opted to actually come back to finish her NEWTs. Of course she had. She was a hopeless swot who loved to demonstrate that she had no life outside of dusty old tomes.

Pansy would bet anything she owned that Granger's life was simple. She wasn't in love with someone who'd only ever wanted her for just her background, and she didn't have someone else aggressively pursuing her just because the fact that the first person wanted her made her that much more attractive. Her life would just be all about books and maybe one boyfriend who happened to like overgrown brains and awful hair.

For the briefest of seconds, Pansy felt something like jealousy towards the filthy little imposter for being able to have a normal life.

Granger brushed off her robes and got to her feet, angry red spots on her cheeks. 'Thanks so much for the help there,' she coolly said.

Both Daphne and Pansy burst out laughing at that. _Help_ her? Pansy would sooner hug a fire-breathing slug. Granger shot her the oddest look, one almost of pity, which immediately killed Pansy's mirth and made her bare her teeth.

'If you're done cluttering our path with your worthless, clumsy self, we'll be on our way,' she said, not going to bother any longer with this inferior creature.

She began walking, but stopped when Granger actually had the audacity to laugh. Not quite knowing how to deal with that, she turned back around and stared Granger down.

'I wouldn't be so high and mighty, Parkinson,' Granger said, carefully rearranging a couple of her books.

Her hands shook just enough for Pansy to know she'd got to her on some level, though. That bore its own satisfaction.

'I mean, after all, what have you accomplished in your life so far?" Granger continued. 'Absolutely nothing. You managed to be an obnoxious pestilence who sympathised with the losing side of the war and that's all. Even your useless boyfriend managed to at the very least be so bad at what he did that he was actually sort of benefitting my side. And speaking of which, I hear that he isn't really even much of a boyfriend these days. Ouch, huh? You stuck with him through all his troubles and now he's off shagging whatever will stand still long enough for it to happen. That has to hurt.'

Granger flounced off, leaving Pansy standing with her mouth open.

'What a _bitch_!' Daphne sputtered. 'I swear, something bad ought to happen to that self-righteous swot one of these days!'

Pansy blinked a few times, gathering her bearings. 'I know, right?' she replied. 'And those things she said about Draco...'

'Complete rubbish!' Daphne loyally lied. 'He would _never_ cheat on you! He loves you!'

Yeah. Except not. 'Someone needs to teach that twit a lesson,' Pansy muttered.

'Someone really does.'

Except Hermione Granger was much too well-connected these days for either of them to actually seriously consider risking it.

***

Blaise frowned at the clock. Pansy was late. Of course she was. It would be a wonder if she even showed up. But if she didn't, he wasn't above seeking her out and making sure she realised the consequences.

Even if he'd put her off learning how to suck a bloke off, even if Malfoy had decided to keep her, she was still _his_ twice a week until she decided she didn't care if he told Malfoy about their first night together.

And when that happened, he would tell Malfoy about it just to see the look on his face as he realised Blaise had been there before Malfoy himself had decreed that he could.

The door swung open to reveal Pansy, and Blaise annoyed himself by drawing a relieved breath. She didn't say anything, but just closed the door after herself and entered the room.

He drew himself up to his full height. 'You're late!'

She made a face at him that could be called anything but respectful. 'Shut up.'

He would have intimidated her into being a little more courteous—really, he would!—except that the fact that she was currently opening her shirt of her own volition was very distracting.

'Cat got your tongue, Zabini?' she taunted.

He looked her in the eye. 'No, I thought you were making up for your awful time-keeping.' It came out hoarser than he intended and her smirk told him she noticed too.

'If I'm so late, why are you still dressed?' she asked, walking towards him, actually deliberately crowding him towards the bed and he let her until his legs hit the side of the bed and he heavily sat down.

A suspicion suddenly set in as she reached out to open his shirt. He narrowed his eyes at her and grabbed her wrists. 'Wait.'

'What?' She sighed irritably and tried to yank her arms from his grasp, but he refused to let go.

'How many times have we had sex?' he asked.

She blinked. '_What_?'

'Just answer me.'

She shrugged, looking annoyed. 'Once.'

His hands tightened just a fraction. 'Really.'

She stared at him. 'Well, it depends on how you define "sex". We had penetrative sex once, but we each had a few, um, orgasms during it.' She blushed a little and looked away.

His hold relaxed again. The blush seemed very in character for her. 'I guess you could call it once like that. Hold on a sec, need to think of another question.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Who'd bother with the trouble of ordering and smuggling in Polyjuice potion just to have sex with you as me?'

He shrugged. He could think of a handful of witches spiteful enough to try and trick him for various reasons. 'Daphne.'

'Oh. Right. Forgot.' She wrinkled her nose in distaste.

He pursed his lips, amused at her reaction. It seemed less and less likely that she was anyone but Pansy, thank God. 'Problem is, I haven't a clue what the fuck you tell her.'

She flinched and then quietly said, 'Nothing. I don't want anyone to know about us.'

And it was his aim in life to change that. 'What do you enjoy the most that I do to you?'

'What?'

'Come on, Pansy. Just answer.'

She tried again to pull her hands free, but he wasn't letting go. 'Does it really matter? I never told you so you can't know.'

'Wrong. I know.' And it turned him on. A lot.

'I doubt it.'

'Try me.'

She blushed even deeper. 'No! You're going to get the wrong idea!'

He grinned and tightened his hold as she was struggling in vain. She really had no physical strength on him and he wasn't about to let her get her wand. 'Pansy...'

'Fine.' She pouted. 'I might kind of like it when you... tell me to do things. But only in certain circumstances! I can't stand when you normally—'

He abruptly let go of her wrists and grinned even wider. 'Carry on.'

'Oh, you so did not "know" that!' she objected.

'Did too.'

'Did not! You just manipulated me into telling you, git!' She scowled very hard at him.

He couldn't help but outright laugh. 'I wish I'd thought of that.'

'I bet you do.' She reached down and began undoing his belt. 'But if you're finished messing about, I was trying to get something done here.'

Tonight might yet be a good night. 'Carry on.'

***

Logic. There was none. Pansy's whole life was as illogical as it could be. She just knew that she was rapidly running out of options. She needed to do this. She needed to learn. If even Granger knew about Draco, it meant he was beginning to stop caring _who_ knew and she needed to work faster.

Blaise was already hard. She raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

'Enthusiasm,' he said with a shrug. 'It works every time.' She dropped to her knees in front of him and he grabbed her arm. 'No,' he said. 'I told you how I prefer it.'

She pulled her arm free. 'I prefer it like this.' It felt less personal to be on her knees, although she couldn't really figure out why.

'Your knees will begin to kill you in a few minutes. It really won't be comfortable for you.'

'So you're claiming no one ever prefers it this way?'

He scowled at her. 'No. But at least kneel on a pillow or something.'

She ignored him and grabbed hold of his cock, idly wondering if Draco's would be bigger or smaller. Wasn't it sad that after five years of going out with him, she still didn't know?

Blaise made an appreciative sound at the contact and then shut up. At last.

Carefully, she bent forwards to wrap her lips around him and focused on trying to apply all of her theoretical knowledge whilst making sure she didn't make any odd faces or somehow give the impression that she wasn't enjoying it.

It really wasn't that bad. She could feel Blaise tensing under her. 'Firmer,' he rasped a minute later. 'Just a little bit—oh, yeah, like that. Exactly like... like that.'

His breathing had become more rapid and shallow. Pansy tried not to react to his responses and just analyse them to do better, but soon she found herself wanting to please him just for pleasure's sake. When she did this one thing with her tongue right below the head, his breath would catch. When she followed it up with more pressure from her hand and mouth, he would moan. And if she experimented with how far she could take him in, he would squirm and she could see him clawing at the bedspread.

When she felt him lift one of his arms and bring his hand near her head, she braced herself. Daphne had told her about this bit as well. About how he would sometimes get a bit mindless from the lust and would push and thrust, making her gag. She'd said it could be rather unpleasant but that it was usually just easier to go with it. She'd said he usually didn't last long after that, anyway.

But instead of the expected roughness, he just tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and dropped his arm again.

Somewhat startled, she looked up at him. He was wearing the oddest expression of lust and something she couldn't quite define.

'I'm... I'm going to come soon,' he said. 'When I say so, just pull back and finish with your hand.'

She frowned and drew back far enough to say, 'Why not my mouth?' before running her lips down the side of his cock. This really was sort of fun.

He closed his eyes. 'Taste and texture can be a bit much,' he muttered. 'I'd rather not find out if it'll make you sick. Not tonight.'

Pansy was about to object that this was about figuring things out, but then changed her mind. Maybe pacing herself was a good idea. And maybe keeping Blaise pleased by letting him have his fantasies was a good idea as well. She needed him on her side.

She redoubled her efforts, trying to read his signals as best she could.

'Now,' he groaned. 'I'm going to... oh, God, _now_...'

She pulled back her head just in time as he shuddered his orgasm. She'd never seen anyone come from this angle before and was quite fascinated by it.

It was really messy, to tell the truth. And quite... sexy. He looked almost vulnerable as he gave in to the climax.

'Merlin, Pansy...' Blaise whispered when he was finally done coming.

'Less rubbish, then?' she asked.

'Not rubbish at all.' He reached out to touch her cheek, a strangely tender look in his eyes that she supposed was due to the afterglow.

'So I've learnt already? You think I can do this?'

His eyes shuttered so fast it was like someone had abruptly shut the door to his mind. 'Yes. You don't need any more lessons. Everything from here is preference. And I get to fuck you next time.'

She slowly got to her feet, feeling dismissed. She supposed she had been. This was the deal. It would just perhaps have been nicer if he'd have waited a bit to go back to being an arsehole, so she wouldn't feel so stupidly self-conscious and hurt. 'It really wasn't too bad on my knees,' she muttered.

'Guess not,' he said, reaching for his wand to clean the worst of his mess. 'But next time, do try to remember to open your shirt. I like tits. And I like to come on them. I gave you a free pass today because you were having fun taking initiative, but next time I'd rather have it my way.'

Pansy's mouth dropped open. The nerve! He'd had perfectly good fun with this and now he was lecturing her on all of her shortcomings? 'I'm not sure there will be a next time for you,' she said in the voice she usually reserved for lesser beings.

He didn't care. His eyes and voice matched her completely for coldness. 'There will be if I say there will be.'

So he'd really force her? As in, _really_ force her?

Of course he would. She wasn't even sure why she'd doubt that. He'd use the fact that she loved her boyfriend to blackmail her into sexual favours, after all.

She looked away. 'Right. Can I go now?'

'Of course,' he said. 'We're done here, aren't we?'

Without another word, she left.

***

Blaise stared at the door that Pansy had all but fled through and cursed his own stupidity. For a while there, he'd actually been fooled by her. Fooled into thinking she'd wanted to do this to _him_ tonight.

But no. It was all about Malfoy. Blaise was just someone to practice on. Someone to make all the mistakes with.

He'd nearly made a fool of himself because he'd forgotten that. He'd nearly offered right then and there. And he shouldn't have told her that she wasn't rubbish at it. He'd planned on lying to her to keep her 'practising' indefinitely so she wouldn't go suck off Malfoy.

But in an idiotic moment of weakness, he'd been fucking honest instead.

He wished he hadn't promised her fidelity. Right now he very much needed to go prove to himself that what she thought or did didn't matter, but there wasn't a foolproof method of doing that undetected in a place as relatively small as Hogwarts. He could lose too much if he was seen or the witch was less discreet than he wanted.

So he had to be fucking faithful to a fucking witch who wanted to be fucking _fucking_ her pseudo-boyfriend, who cared fuck-all about her and had fucking sold her to Blaise.

He sighed and fixed his clothes. As long as she was his in the end, he supposed he could live with this. He just hoped she wasn't about to give him the details about her endeavours. Going into a jealous rage wouldn't improve his chances, but he didn't see how he could refrain from doing that if he had to picture her with her lips wrapped around Malfoy's cock, looking so adorably flushed and concentrated.

No. Just... no.

***

She was on time for their next meeting. Blaise had sort of hoped she wouldn't be so he'd have an excuse to fight with her, but she was. He knew he shouldn't wish to fight with her, considering how poorly he was doing, but... he was possessive of anything he considered his. And he'd considered her his ever since he'd decided on her.

He was sitting in an armchair in a corner of the room, watching her in the seconds until she discovered him.

He didn't even really particularly want to have sex with her tonight. He was tired of the games. Tired of competing with someone who'd been made perfect in her mind. Tired of having to force her to touch him. It shouldn't have been a struggle. He was a far better option for her and she should have realised that as soon as he'd first touched her.

He'd actually considered feeding her love potion, but then he'd realised how pathetic that would be. It was beneath him. He would push, threaten and coerce, but he would _not_ let her know how much he wished he didn't have to.

She jumped as she noticed him. 'Blaise! Why do you always have to sneak up on me!?'

He smirked rather cynically. 'I'm not sneaking. I'm sitting perfectly still.'

'Yeah, that's the problem,' she muttered.

He didn't reply. He still hadn't decided what to do about this conundrum. He wanted her, but getting her this way wasn't working for him. It wasn't very satisfying. He'd thought it'd be at least a little more satisfying than this.

On the other hand, if he stopped their meetings, how was he supposed to convince her to leave Malfoy? Hang around like a lovesick puppy? He didn't think so. Then rather have more of these unsatisfactory encounters.

He'd perform for her.

'What's wrong?' she quietly asked.

He pushed himself up from the chair. 'I was just thinking about all the ways I could choose to fuck you.'

Her eyes flickered and she took a step backwards. 'You look cross with me.'

'I'm not.' He walked towards her, aware that he was stalking her.

She backed up even further. 'No. You have that _look_ on your face.'

'What look?'

'The look that says you're about to become really nasty.'

He smirked. 'I am about to be really nasty... but you'll like it, I promise.'

'No.' She hit the wall with her back and then began edging to the side. 'That's not how it works.'

He reached her and leant on the wall with an arm on either side of her. 'Really?'

'Please, Blaise,' she whispered. 'I've had a rotten few days. I don't need you to make it worse. Tell me what to do and I'll do it, anything, just... don't.'

He loved that she was afraid of him. And hated it. It was intoxicating to have her cowering, offering him any kind of services and... it was withering too. He liked it when she struggled in his net. He liked it even more when she surprised him and showed him that she had a net of her own. What use did he have of a witch who would break so easily?

He bent his head until he was almost kissing her before he breathed, 'Anything?'

She swallowed and then snaked her hands around his neck and kissed him.

He wished he didn't enjoy this.

He was a damn fool.


	3. Chapter 3

Pansy didn't know why Blaise was in such a temper today, but there was no doubt about it. She knew him well enough to see all the signs. When truly angered, he'd become really quiet and determined and then strike with lethal precision once he found an opening.

She couldn't take that. Not today. She didn't need him to tell her that she was failing miserably at getting Draco's attention back on her and that she was losing him. She didn't want the reminder. She just wanted to feel wanted.

She drew him closer and deepened the kiss, moulding her body to his. He lifted one hand from the wall and cradled her neck with it, his fingers digging into her skin.

She gasped. 'Please, Blaise,' she tried again. She knew he enjoyed it when others begged him. She knew he got off on the power. So she gave it to him, hoping he wouldn't use it to destroy her.

He didn't seem to pay any attention to her but simply crushed her lips against his again. She desperately tried to give him what it was he was asking for, but it seemed that her attempts to soothe him only frustrated him and made it worse and finally she had to claw her way free.

'You're hurting me!'

He didn't look the least bit contrite. 'You said "anything".'

Pain? He meant pain? _Her_ pain? She laughed nervously, but quickly stopped as he looked completely unamused. This wasn't what she'd wanted. She didn't mind if he was a little bit rough, but... pain? How was that going to make anything better? 'I don't like it when you hurt me.'

His expression didn't change. 'Then you're of no use to me.'

Pansy lifted her hand to softly caress his cheek. 'I could suck you off again. The way you want it, this time.'

He caught her hand, using too much force, and removed it. 'No.'

Reluctantly, Pansy had to admit defeat. It seemed like she was only going to get it one way tonight and she would rather have some claim of control than none, so averting her eyes, she slowly said, 'All right, then.'

'All right, what?'

She swallowed, afraid of his strange mood. 'All right, you can do what you like.'

The hand on her neck shifted to her chin, which he forced up until she had to look at him. 'That's not what I wanted to hear.'

'What then?'

'Do you really think I want you to be another brainless bint just catering to whatever I want?' he snarled.

Pansy was confused. 'That's _all_ you ever wanted from me!'

'Wrong again.'

'Then tell me what you want!' she all but shouted, really just wishing he would just tell her what he wanted so she could give it to him.

'I want the same thing you want.'

She raised an eyebrow. Even in her current state of mind, this was too good to pass up. 'Draco?'

The hand on her chin tightened, making her wince, before he abruptly let go. 'No. I want to be wanted.'

Pansy's eyes widened and she stared up at him. He looked dead serious. Had she said it out loud before? And what did he mean? Half the witches in this place seemed to want him—even Pansy had picked up on the current discontent and confusion among many of the females in this place after Blaise had chosen "celibacy".

'I like having sex with you,' she said, not sure if that was what he wanted.

'But you wish I were him while we're doing it, so it doesn't really count,' he growled.

'What if I promise that I won't?'

He raised an eyebrow. 'Really.' It wasn't a question.

'It's not like you look or act anything like him, anyway. I know you aren't him,' she tried.

'Indeed.' He looked unimpressed.

She ran her hands up his chest until she reached his shoulders and then outwards. He was taller than Draco. Broader. Darker. More menacing and... thrilling. 'You're very sexy.'

He just looked at her.

She bit her lip and looked up at him under lowered lashes. 'I want you.'

'You little liar,' he whispered, but he still kissed her again.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss as enthusiastically as she could. She wanted him to feel wanted. If he ever felt like she did—which she kind of doubted that he did—she wanted to alleviate some of his pain. If only for a little while.

***

He shouldn't have been honest with her. Now she probably pitied him. Blaise Zabini wasn't one to accept pity snogs or pity fucks.

But he supposed that tonight he'd make an exception.

It felt so much like she really wanted him and he had no desire to deny himself, even if she should secretly be wishing that he were someone else.

He ran his hand down her arse and thigh to sneak up under her skirt and hoist her up. She gave a muffled sound of surprise, but he didn't care. He needed her. Like this. He pinned her against the wall with his body and ran his other hand down between her legs to feel her knickers.

They were thankfully damp. Without realising it, he'd been worried about her physical responses. It annoyed him that he cared. He shouldn't care. She let him coerce her on some idiotic pretext, so whether she actually wanted to do it or not was irrelevant.

He tugged at her knickers, finding that they were too durable to just snap, and he certainly wasn't in a mood to allow Pansy to unwrap her legs, so he could get them off. Pushing them aside would have to do. He did so and immediately entered her with two fingers.

She gasped, breaking the kiss and staring at him with big, wild eyes.

He waited for her to tell him if he hurt her, but she didn't speak and he took that as a go-ahead to move his fingers. She was already so warm and wet and he had to fight not to groan just from this. Performing for her probably wouldn't be a problem, after all.

She grabbed onto his shoulders and buried her face in his neck, gasping and incoherently muttering something about how nice it was.

He wanted to open his trousers so he could enter her already, but couldn't without either letting go of her or stopping the fingering. Neither was an option.

'Get my belt,' he rasped. 'And... and the buttons...'

She didn't waste any time in obeying him. It took a little effort for her to figure out how to best achieve her goal and keep her balance at the same time, but soon she had her hand wrapped around his cock and was rubbing him.

Only Pansy could make a hand job seem so fucking glorious.

He kissed her neck and her cheek and, as she turned her face towards his, finally her lips again. He needed to make her his. He _needed_.

'I want you,' he whispered. 'Make it happen.'

She obeyed, positioning him. He waited until the very last second to remove his fingers and then pressed inside her.

Heaven.

He moved and she wrapped her legs tighter around him, whimpering. At least the physical part was working for her. He stopped briefly to tear at her shirt. He needed more of her skin. Why were they never just naked together any more? She helped him get it open and push her bra aside, and then moved impatiently against him.

He obliged. Who was he not to ease her very obvious itch when she was so flushed, almost feverish, and her eyes were begging him?

He bent to taste one of her lovely nipples and stroked his tongue over it again and again. She gasped and grabbed his head, pressing him closer.

This was going exactly the way he wanted it, except it was too fast. He raised his head to tell her, but she just kissed him, deeply, making his need reach unknown proportions.

He didn't have the luxury of being able to just give in, though. He needed to be all about pleasing her. It was so rare she gave him the chance, so he had to prove that his experience actually made him capable of holding back and—

She let her lips wander across his cheek and then tugged lightly on his earlobe with her teeth whilst running her hand down his arm to grab the hand he'd used to finger her with. Then, looking him straight in the eye, she brought it to her mouth. So soft, so moist, so naughty. He convulsed, nearly unable to stop himself. She had such damn good instincts and he just... wanted her.

He pulled the hand back and roughly caught her lips again before he began moving harder and faster.

'Oh, yes,' she sighed, breaking free from his kiss to place teasing, little kisses on the corner of his mouth. 'More...'

He obliged her by moving faster because he simply had to. It felt so good.

Too good.

Fuck. He realised he had already begun moving erratically, his body tensing. He was coming.

Quickly, he moved his hand down between her legs in a vain hope he could even out the difference before she realised that he was unable to wait for her.

She moaned in appreciation of the extra stimulation and it did nothing to stop his orgasm, absolutely nothing. He closed his eyes. If only he could stay on the edge a little longer... She uttered the smallest sigh, little more than a breath, as he rubbed her just right, and it was enough to send him over. _Fuck._

He knew there was no hiding that he was coming. He groaned deeply and thrust hard and held it there, feeling like he was trying to give up his very essence to her.

Her breath caught and he could tell she enjoyed his climax. Well... so did he. But he didn't take the time to fully enjoy the afterglow. He would still be hard for a little while and even though he was sensitive, he ignored it, because he needed to make her come. He needed it. He needed to show her that he could provide her with pleasure. He needed to show her that he was better than Malfoy could ever be.

'Blaise!' she gasped, sounding confused. 'Didn't you just—?'

He shut her up with a hard kiss. 'Shh,' he whispered. 'Just come for me.'

She whimpered at his request. He could feel she was close and redoubled his efforts, thrusting and rubbing and kissing and—she gasped and grabbed his shoulders and buried her head in his neck—suddenly he felt her shuddering, her muscles clamping tight around his oversensitised cock.

Yes, this was what he wanted. This. It was so lovely that he just wanted to continue. His cock could get ready for another round even before it went down, he knew from experience. It shouldn't be a problem with her. He just wanted to keep her coming for him.

But she pushed his hand away from between her legs and muttered, 'Stop!'

'Too sensitive?' he softly asked. He could stop touching her for a while until the worst of it went away, if that was the case.

'I just... I shouldn't have. It's not fair to Draco.'

She couldn't have cooled him faster if she'd poured a bucket of ice on his head.

She just had to mention Malfoy when things were finally pleasant, didn't she?

His eagerness to please squelched, he stepped away, allowing her to get to her feet before he closed his trousers. Damn him for always forgetting that she was only half there with him. 'Draco is off with other witches often enough, so I don't see why you care,' he said.

'You don't understand,' she muttered and righted her clothes. 'I love him. So I should try to be faithful at least in spirit when I can't completely be in body.'

'How about: it doesn't matter. He doesn't care. He doesn't love _you_. It doesn't make sense to stay faithful to someone who doesn't care!'

Blaise dimly noticed that his voice was rising and he was losing his cool, but he was beyond caring. He hated feeling like this. Hated it. He wished he didn't want her so much. With all the witches he could have, he had to want _this_ one? Fucking priceless.

'Then why do you?'

He blinked, blindsided. 'What?'

'There's talk. You've been turning down every witch that has approached you lately. It's very unlike you.'

Blaise looked down, feeling oddly bashful. 'Yeah, well, I said I could be better than him. And I have been.'

'I don't want you to be.'

His eyes snapped up to meet hers.

She continued, 'I don't want you to be faithful to me. I don't want that responsibility.'

He blinked, not sure how that made him feel. 'It's not _your_ responsibility; it's _my_ choice!'

'And there'll soon be gossip! You'll ruin everything for me!'

Blaise ground his teeth. 'I'm careful, aren't I? I don't as much as look at you outside of this room!'

'Something will happen and everyone will know. So please do me a favour and be yourself.'

He couldn't believe this. He was trying to prove something to her! He was trying to show her that he would be serious about her if she'd let him and... now this?

He just didn't understand.

'I thought you despised the fact that I slept around.'

She shrugged, her clothes now all in order. 'It's kind of tacky, but it's you.'

'Maybe I don't want to be tacky any more,' he muttered.

She snorted at that. 'You're eternally horny, Zabini. This goes against your very nature.'

'Right.' He didn't appreciate the implication that he was being controlled by his dick.

'It's not going to change anything. I would just consider it a personal favour if you'd stop make people guess at what's happening with you,' she quietly said and then she left the room.

He left only a minute later. They were far enough apart that nobody would think they were walking back together, but close enough that he could keep an eye on her gently swaying hips.

They'd almost made it back to the common room when Pansy turned a corner, almost bumping into someone. Blaise quickly recognised Tracey Davis from their year. Pretty enough. He'd snogged her once but never actually gone further than that. Last he heard, she belonged to Theo.

She looked up from where she and Pansy had been sizing each other up and brightened as she saw Blaise.

'Zabini! Just the wizard I wanted to run into.'

'Well, technically, I think you ran into Pansy,' he drawled, a little confused at the girl's exuberance at seeing him.

She affected a short laugh, making him raise an eyebrow. He noticed from the corner of his eye that Pansy was still standing at the corner, unsubtly eavesdropping.

'Well,' Tracey said, coyly playing with a lock of her own hair. 'Theo is being an arse, and I was told that you're the one to help me get back at him...'

He let his gaze slither down her form. Generous, but not too generous. Definitely had more in the chest department than Pansy, though. 'Really,' he murmured.

'Are you?' Tracey asked.

Taking on the Beta might not be such a good idea. Especially considering the problems he was going to get with the Alpha if he ever found out Blaise's true intentions with Pansy.

He looked up at Pansy, who was still watching them, raising an eyebrow at him. Daring him to turn Tracey down.

The Alpha would never become a problem at this rate.

And this was his "nature", wasn't it? To be a piece of meat to be used at will.

He motioned towards the nearby empty classroom. 'Enter my office and we'll... talk.'

Tracey giggled and did as he asked. He looked at Pansy one last time, just in time to see that she was disappearing around the corner. Walking away.

Then he took a deep breath and joined Tracey.

***

'Very... interesting essay, Miss Parkinson,' the professor said, handing her essay back to her.

She unrolled it just enough to see her mark. _T_. Just grand.

'Obviously, we will have to, ah, discuss the viability of you continuing the NEWTs for this course,' he very diplomatically said before moving on.

Like she cared she was failing! It wasn't like she was going to get a _job_. Still, she was so busy sending his back a death glare that she forgot to roll up the parchment.

'How fitting!' a rather insufferable voice said behind her. 'I didn't even know they used _Troll_ these days, but if anyone deserves it, it would be you.'

It was at the very end of the class and people were already filing out. Pansy calmly stuck the parchment in her bag before she turned around to face that dreadful Mudblood bitch who they called—well, honestly, nobody she knew called her anything else. 'Some of us don't need good marks, Granger,' she calmly said. 'We'll still be better, richer, and more influential than you'll ever be. That has to sting.'

Except good marks were still sort of expected and Pansy would be sure to hear from her father about this. She dreaded that conversation. It would be one of many where he'd point out that she wasn't smart, wasn't beautiful, and should be damn grateful that at least she was pure-blood and of a decent family who would help see to it that she'd get a good lot in life.

Granger shook her head and wrinkled her stupid, stuck-up, freckled nose. 'You really believe that, don't you? And how are you going to achieve that? By marrying Malfoy? Doesn't it _bother_ you to have no independence whatsoever?'

Pansy sneered. 'I don't expect posing rabble like you to understand the finer workings of _our_ society,' she hissed, before she left.

Trust someone like Granger to not understand how desirable marriage was. How important it was to preserve the bloodlines and family fortunes. How family life was a fulltime job and a much more important career than just going to some office to shuffle around papers.

Pansy counted on giving Draco at least three children. Four if none of them were boys. And she would teach them basic things like family history and proper etiquette, whilst Draco would teach them networking and investments.

A commoner like Granger would probably think it would suffice to teach the children to read, write and do math. Maybe it would for her. But then again, her worth was measured differently, wasn't it? She could be "independent" if she wanted to.

Some people didn't have that luxury. So why bother to lament it?

***

Sometimes, you couldn't wait for things to happen. Sometimes you had to _make_ them happen. It wasn't an issue of wanting to create conflict, really. It was more that sometimes it was better to get the conflict over with so you could move on from there.

So, really, Blaise wouldn't really be causing Pansy any hurt. He would just be hurting her sooner rather than later, which would probably actually make it hurt less. He was saving her from any additional hurt.

At least that was what he was telling himself as he was waiting for her to show up.

She finally did. Or, rather, she was on time. It wasn't her fault that he'd already been there an hour, trying to soothe his own frazzled nerves. Why he had nerves to begin with, he had no idea. It was stupid.

She looked around. 'Why here?' she asked. 'Why not at the secret room?'

Blaise shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. 'Nothing good ever happened in that room. Something _very_ good happened in this office.' Their first night together had happened here. This was where he'd made up his mind.

She blushed a little, but then frowned. 'The things we've been doing... haven't been good?'

'There's more to good sex than lust,' he quietly said. 'Much more. Things just... don't... work for me. I just want to forget about everything else when I'm with you.'

She looked down. 'You mean Draco.'

'I mean everyone and everything.'

'So why here?'

He felt a little guilty, but tried to tamp it down. 'Because here I'm hard pressed to think about anything except the way you surrendered to me that night.'

She walked over and sat down on the sofa where he'd taken her virginity. 'A bed would be more comfortable. We never actually had sex in the bed.'

'I don't care about comfort.' He sat down next to her, putting his arm up on the backrest behind her. 'You know what I want.'

'Sure. Sex.' She didn't look at him.

He sighed. Pansy wasn't stupid. She must know he wanted more than that. Otherwise she wouldn't have forced him to give up his attempt to show her he could be faithful. 'I did what you wanted me to.'

'I know,' she softly replied. 'I heard. You must've really pleased her.'

He wanted to tell her how much he'd hated it but supposed that would cheapen the sacrifice. 'Are _you_ pleased with me now? Will you be nice to me tonight?'

She blinked at him. 'What?'

'I just... I don't want it to end in a fight again, Pansy. Can't it just be good, even if that is all it is?'

She smiled at him, put her hand on his thigh and kissed him.

It soothed him. Gave him that little bit of peace he craved. He cradled her face with his hand, enjoying this little bit of sweetness among all of the fucked-up mindless fucking.

She drew back. 'What's wrong with you tonight, Blaise?'

'I'm just a little... just kiss me,' he muttered, kissing her again, softly pressing her down.

He couldn't explain how he felt. He felt dirty from doing what she wanted him to, and guilty for currently misleading her, he supposed. He definitely felt unhappy that no matter how many times he kissed or caressed her, she still didn't want him in any way that mattered.

And he hated himself for being this torn up about some witch. All witches were whores you could buy as long as you knew their price. To let one get to you just because she preferred to go with someone better able to afford her was to lose.

But then again, he'd admitted defeat as soon as he'd touched Tracey and realised that she wasn't going to please him in any way because he only wanted Pansy.

And he'd admitted defeat again when he hadn't let that stop him. Because Pansy had made her wishes clear.

And now he was admitting defeat a third time as he closed his eyes and prayed that tonight would cause her to realise that she didn't need Malfoy any more.

She was opening his shirt, but he couldn't bring himself to undress her. He only pushed her skirt up a bit to make better room for his legs as he manoeuvred her under him.

She giggled rather out of the blue, breaking the kiss. 'One of these days I need to be on top.'

'I'd love that,' he muttered. 'I love it when you take charge.'

'Then why did you never ask me to?'

He let his lips wander down to her neck. 'Because you needed me to take you,' he whispered against her skin. 'You needed to follow my lead.'

'Is this another part of the whole "first time you're rubbish" thing?' she asked, a breathless note to her voice.

'You were never rubbish at sex. And no. You just needed it. To feel safe. I know you. It takes time for you to gain confidence.'

'But—' she began, but he didn't have the patience for this discussion right now and he cut her off with a kiss.

'Shh,' he murmured. 'Next time, you can be on top.'

Then he kissed her again, deeply, moving his hand up to cop a feel because he simply couldn't refrain from doing so. He wasn't dead, after all.

***

Pansy was wondering about the uncharacteristic gentleness on Blaise's end. He never just wanted to snog; he always wanted to shag, one way or the other.

Snogging whilst fully dressed did feel sort of nice, though.

It felt like... caring. Something that was sorely lacking in her life right now. She hardly ever saw Draco any more. It was a bit sad that _this_ was all she had, but it was, and she might as well get full enjoyment from it. Nobody cared what she did, anyway.

'Oh for crying out—' A voice exclaimed from the door. Pansy had been so absorbed, she hadn't even heard it open.

Horrified, she pushed Blaise away and turned her head to see Draco standing there with his bag slung over his shoulder. He looked annoyed, even angry.

'I-I can explain,' she said, kicking at Blaise, who wasn't moving away fast enough. 'This is not what it looks like!'

The cold hand of fear was gripping her chest. What had she done? Caring, indeed! Blaise didn't care about _anyone_ but himself and she should never have let him touch her. Ever. Now she was going to lose the one thing she had in life, the one thing she _wanted_ in life. Without Draco she was just another nobody. Where was she going to go? Her father would disown as soon as he found out that she'd ruined this match by being unfaithful.

Her heart was pounding and she began tearing at her shirt. It was too tight around the neck. She couldn't breathe. She was going to suffocate and they were both just... looking at her, not realising that her world was crumbling around her.

'Breathe,' Blaise quietly said, placing a hand on her shoulder. 'Slowly. It's all right.'

She stared at him, her eyes big and wild. 'You...' she whispered. 'You did this, didn't you? You arranged for him to come here, to catch you taking advantage of me. You knew th-that he'd get the wrong impression.' She edged away from him. How could she have been so stupid?

Blaise's lips compressed. 'What's so wrong about that impression? You were willing!'

'Only because you said you'd tell him if I wasn't.' Her eyes filled with tears. 'Do you really think I w-would ever...'

She would end out on the street. All alone. And since she didn't even have good marks, she'd have no way to support herself. Except, of course, one way. Maybe that would be fitting. The cheating slut whoring for survival.

Blaise had ruined her life! And she'd let him. For what? For feeling good about herself every once in a while? Stupid. So stupid.

'Relax, Pansy,' Draco quietly said. 'I already knew. But maybe this is a good opportunity to rethink matters.'

'No!' she jumped to her feet. 'No, please don't.'

He shook his head. 'Maybe we're just not right for each other.'

Blaise leant back and Pansy hated him for being there, for no doubt enjoying the show.

She swallowed her pride as she so often did around either of these two. 'You're in love with another witch, aren't you?'

Draco's gaze flickered. 'I don't see how that's—'

'But she's unsuitable, isn't she?' Pansy interrupted. 'If she weren't, you would have broken up with me and officially begun seeing her. Your secrecy is very telling.'

He clenched his jaw. 'What's your point?'

She swallowed. This was hardly how she'd envisioned her relationship with Draco developing, but sometimes you had to make adjustments. She was adjusting. 'It's ok,' she quietly said. 'I won't hold it against you.'

He stared at her and then shook his head. 'I'm not giving her up.'

'N-no, I know,' she said, forcing herself to say the words as lightly as possible. 'Just... don't rub it in my face. We can still... proceed.'

'What the fuck, Pansy!?' Blaise growled.

Draco's eyes went to Blaise at the exclamation, but then returned to Pansy without him revealing any great response. 'I don't know...'

'You're going to need someone suitable,' she whispered. 'Why not me?'

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 'It's just not fair.'

'What's fair in this life?' she asked. 'I could do a lot worse and so could you.'

Draco slowly nodded. 'You're right. This... is good.' He looked unconvinced.

Pansy gave him a shaky smile. 'It always was.'

He nodded again, then glared at Blaise. 'I will talk to _you_ later.' Then he turned around and left.

Pansy heavily exhaled. She'd somehow saved it. True, the new arrangement was anything but ideal, but she still had Draco. On some level.

'I don't believe you!' Blaise said from behind her, his voice cold and angry. How dare _he_ be angry?

She swung around, pointing her finger at him. 'You! I'm done with you!'

Blaise had the audacity to laugh. 'No, you're not.'

'Did you hear your name mentioned anywhere in that conversation? No. Because you're history! You're nothing but some pathetic, possessive arsehole and I'll love to see you go!'

He slowly stood, making her inwardly cringe, even though she refused to be outwardly intimidated by him. 'Don't be stupid, Pansy,' he coolly said. 'When your oh-so-perfect boyfriend said he knew about us, he meant it. He's been giving me his permission—even his blessing—to pursue you. Except that first night. He still doesn't know about that, and I doubt he'd be pleased to learn that he's _actually_ been played for a fool.'

Pansy swallowed, feeling like the rug had been pulled from under her feet. 'He wouldn't,' she whispered.

'He was happy to learn that he didn't have to take your virginity,' Blaise said. 'That's how much he loves you.'

She was feeling rather dizzy and nauseous. She needed to go lie down. 'Yes. Well. You would deliberately humiliate me in front of the only person I love in order to further your own scheme. That's how much _you_ care about me. Excuse me.' She turned on her heel and stumbled off for her dormitory.

***

'You are dead,' Malfoy very matter-of-factly said. They were at the library, and he was scribbling down notes while reading in a huge tome like some kind of swot.

'Fuck you,' Blaise replied just as calmly, sitting down across from him. 'She's not going anywhere and now your relationship is more honest. As far as I'm concerned, you owe me.'

'As far as I'm concerned, you just closed one of my best ways out of the relationship,' Malfoy growled.

'If you wanted out, you could've just fucking dumped her!' Blaise yanked some parchment from his own bag. 'I think we both know that I'll be there to comfort her if you do.'

'I _can't_. I'm still not sure what's the best approach. She was right about the other witch I'm seeing. And none of this was ever your call, Zabini. Pansy was never yours. You only got to borrow her.'

Blaise snarled. 'She's a fucking human being! And now you get to have your cake and eat it too. I can't believe how lucky you are.'

'Lucky!' Malfoy threw down his quill and scoffed. 'Only a git like you would find it _lucky_ to have to marry some witch you can barely stand looking at in order to be able to spend time with the one you truly want without becoming an outcast.'

'Badmouth Pansy one more time and I'll hex your bits off!'

'Oh, that's rich!' Malfoy rolled his eyes. 'Get over it, Zabini. She's mine. And I'm not badmouthing her. In fact, it has very little to do with her—except, granted, I do find her neediness to be increasingly off-putting.'

'She's desperate because she's in love with you and you're pulling away from her! If you find that off-putting, you should let her go.'

Malfoy looked at Blaise for a few seconds and then a slow, unpleasant grin began forming on his face. 'You're in love with her!' he exclaimed far too gleefully. 'It must be difficult for you, knowing that she'd rather be with me, despite everything.'

Blaise didn't respond but just glared back.

Malfoy's grin widened. 'I find that your death is unnecessary. It'll be enough that you have to see her with me. Forever. And maybe I'll even have children with both of them.'

Blaise cringed at the very thought. 'It won't be forever. She'll realise her mistake soon.'

'Will she, then?' Malfoy coolly asked. 'We'll see.'

She'd better realise her mistake soon. Blaise couldn't bear the mental image Malfoy had just planted in his head.

***

Pansy slipped into the dark and abandoned office. Nobody would think to look for her here. It would never even occur to Blaise that she might seek out the very office they had a history in to hide in it.

She could be Slytherin too.

She sat down on the sofa and summoned her handkerchief to wipe at her wet cheeks and blow her nose. This was getting old. She hated feeling this way all the time. She hated even more that she couldn't really confide in anyone about it. She knew what they would say—either that she should get rid of Draco, or that she should just be happy and endure these little inconsequential things—and she knew exactly what side her father would be on. He'd always found her to be far too emotional about things.

But what if neither was an option for her? What if she desperately ached for Draco's affection, if not love?

She supposed that was when she suffered all of her indignities in silence and came here to cry alone. Just a time-out before she went back to pretending she wasn't bothered at all.

The thing was, today was different. Today hadn't just been an indignity. Today had been one soul-crushing humiliation after another, and she just wasn't sure how much more she could take before she broke.

Out of all the ways he could've disrespected her...

'Pansy?' It was Blaise, slowly coming into the room. 'It _is_ you. What are you doing here?'

Damn! She hurriedly wiped at her eyes in a vain attempt to not show the worst of it. He wasn't supposed to be here!

His jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed. 'What happened?'

She forced herself to smile cheerfully. 'Hey, I know you're cross that I didn't come see you today, but could we perhaps do this some other time?'

His expression didn't change. 'What happened?' He bit each word off.

She shrugged. 'I told you, I didn't see any reason to—'

'I didn't mean that, you twit. Why are you crying?'

'Oh.' Pansy looked down at the handkerchief she was tightly holding on to. 'I'd rather not talk about it.'

He stepped closer. 'Did he hurt you? I swear, if he hurt you...'

Pansy couldn't help a small, sad laugh. 'Look who's talking.'

'I never wanted to hurt you.'

'But you did it just the same. And you think he's even doing it on purpose?' She sniffed, feeling her throat constrict once more. 'He can't help it.'

'Fuck, Pansy, just tell me.'

'Why? So you can judge me?'

'I promise not to judge. But if you don't tell me, I'm going to have to go thrash him within an inch of his life just on principle.'

She laughed without humour once more. 'Don't be stupid, Blaise.'

'I mean it.' He really did look like he meant it. It actually helped a little bit to know that someone at least cared this much.

Pansy shook her head. 'It's really quite stupid.'

'Ok...' He slowly walked over to sit next to her. 'Then tell me your stupid thing, and I'll kiss you and make it all right.'

If it were only that easy. 'I don't think that's a good idea.'

'I won't tell him. Don't you think you deserve to feel better than this?'

She smiled self-deprecatingly. 'Maybe, maybe not. But you're not going to want to be the one to make that happen if I tell you.'

He watched her for a minute and then quietly said, 'Try me.'


	4. Chapter 4

She was sullied. Blaise just knew it. It made him want to rage, to kill, to at the very least snarl, but instead he said perfectly still and didn't allow his facial expression to give anything away.

She was never supposed to have been touched by anyone but him.

It bothered him that she had been. It angered him. It _hurt_ him. But he still wanted her, so he was ready to pretend it didn't matter.

He could make her forget Malfoy's touch. He _would_ make her forget.

She wrung her handkerchief in her hands and swallowed. 'I finally convinced him,' she whispered. 'I finally got him alone and he was finally kissing me. I can barely remember the last time he kissed me.'

'That shouldn't make you unhappy,' Blaise said, acting clueless whilst waiting to know how bad it was.

'He wasn't _very_ enthusiastic, but he didn't stop me either when I... you know... tried doing what you showed me.'

Blaise's stomach churned. 'You sucked him off.'

She nodded and his vision unfocused. 'It was a bit difficult to get him going,' she muttered. 'Kind of like the first time I tried on you. And I knew I did better this time.'

'Uh-huh.' Blaise was afraid to say anything else, because "jealous rage" didn't really begin to cover what he was battling.

'Eventually, he... he finished, though, and then...' Her throat worked convulsively.

Blaise looked away. He couldn't respond. He wasn't actually handling this as well as he thought he would be. It was just a damn blow job, it didn't mean a thing. He'd had dozens of them. He'd had sex with girls whose names or faces he could barely even recall. It was just release. It was just a bit of fun.

But Pansy was supposed to be different. She was supposed to be innocent and all his.

'He just ran out,' she finally finished in little more than a whisper. 'He looked at me as if I'd grown a second head or something and then he just... scrambled for his things and ran out without a single word of... of anything.'

Blaise forced himself to look back at her. 'He ditched you?'

She nodded, her face screwing up and tears running down her cheeks again. 'I thought he'd at least... I don't know... not this!'

Blaise sighed and dug out his handkerchief and handed it to her. It looked like she could use a clean one. 'So he was being an ungrateful twat. You'll just have to teach him some manners.' It was a wonder he could even say this without vomiting.

She accepted the handkerchief, dapping at her eyes. 'That's not all.'

Great, there was more!

'Once I got over the worst of it, I cleaned up and went looking for him.'

'I'm going to guess that you found him.'

'I did,' she whispered. 'He was with... _her_... embracing her and... I heard him say he loved her.'

No real surprise there, was there? Malfoy had shown every intention of keeping his half-blood witch on the side and there was no real reason for that unless he had feelings for her. 'I'm sorry you had to see that.'

'And he said he never wanted to touch another witch again. He said he hated himself. He said he felt dirty and disgusting and he couldn't do it.'

Blaise could empathise with Malfoy on that one. He'd felt much the same when he'd fucked Tracey to please Pansy. The difference was that he'd done it _for_ Pansy, because he would do anything to make sure she came back for their meetings. Malfoy's reasons had been a whole other kind of selfish.

'I'm really sorry you had to hear that,' he quietly said. 'You have to know it's not about you.'

She shrugged, looking away. 'Who am I kidding? He can't stand the sight of me. He goes out of his way not to have to be alone with me. I never thought th-that pleasuring _him_ would make me feel more dirty and used than doing anything with you ever did.'

Blaise's jaw tightened at the implication that she felt dirty and used with him at all. He forced himself to ignore it. 'Of course it did. You were emotionally invested and he... wasn't. He didn't reassure you.' _The way I did our first night._ Damn, it was so hard not to say it.

She nodded. 'And now he completely humiliated me by telling _Granger_ about my pathetic attempts to get him to want me.'

Blaise stared. _Granger_? She was no half-blood! Malfoy was fucking a _Mudblood_? 'Granger? You've got to be fucking kidding me!'

She shook her head again and took a deep, shuddering breath. 'I wish I were. How am I ever going to look anyone in the eye again, knowing that Draco would choose _her_ over me?'

'What a moron! Granger! Even I never sunk that low.'

Pansy smiled rather weakly at that. 'No, you just fucked about everyone else.'

Blaise sighed. He wished she would give it a rest. 'Not since I set my eyes on you.'

'You had no problems fucking Tracey the other night.'

He tensed, sure he'd heard her wrong, but as the silence stretched, he realised he hadn't. 'Of course,' he finally said. The shock was almost numbing. 'It had nothing to do with keeping up appearances, did it? You just wanted ammunition to use against me to push me away.'

She attempted a small laugh. 'Don't give me that...'

'I didn't want her,' he interrupted, not even attempting to hide his bitterness. 'Touching her made my skin crawl. But I knew you'd keep tabs on what had happened, so I did what you wanted me to. As usual.'

This time when she sniffed it seemed to be mostly out of derision. 'When did you ever do anything that didn't serve your own interests?'

He snarled. 'You know what? I thought it did. I thought it would postpone you ending it. But even if I'd wanted her, you have nothing on me. You would have spread your legs for Malfoy at any time or place and you did, in fact, _very_ willingly suck him off only hours ago!'

'That's true,' Pansy wistfully said.

At least her waterworks seemed to finally have stopped. That was about the only good thing that could be said about anything right now. He couldn't _believe_ she would use Tracey against him. After the lengths he'd gone to, thinking that she was honestly just afraid of the rumours... She'd really fooled him. He was such an idiot for not seeing it.

She sniggered and maliciously continued, 'That has to bruise your ego. Want to hear the details about how it felt to have his cock in my mouth?'

The taunt was surprisingly ineffective. Blaise waited for the rage to resurface and meld with his annoyance and hurt, but mostly he felt sorry that Pansy had had a mediocre experience at best, followed by complete rejection. She deserved better from someone she loved so much. 'I'm sorry it wasn't everything you deserved.'

She bitterly laughed. 'Maybe it was.'

'No... it wasn't. You've been waiting for him for so long, doing everything you could to be with him. You deserved a good time and... to be appreciated.'

She shook her head. 'I cheated on him and you know it. Even before he _sold_ me to you. That's why I disgust him. That's why I wasn't able to get him to want me. That's what bit me in the arse and that's the reason I won't ever be happy.'

Blaise stared at her. 'You can't be fucking serious!'

Pansy swallowed hard and looked at him with big, shiny eyes. 'I am. I could have had him, but I ruined it for myself and he sensed that I wasn't worthy any more.'

***

Pansy knew that Blaise didn't understand. For him, fucking around had no consequences. Of course it didn't. He was a wizard and a pure-blood one of means at that. Sure, she was pure-blood too, but so many things could taint her status and make her an undesirable match.

Her father wouldn't tolerate that. She would probably be shipped off to the Continent to try and make a match over there if she didn't succeed here. Provided he didn't hear about her infidelity, of course.

Or he'd make her marry someone old.

'You couldn't have had him,' Blaise said a little too bluntly for her liking. 'You need to understand that. Nothing you could have done could have changed it. Nothing. He never loved you and he never would. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can let go.'

Of course he would say that. He was notoriously unable to give up if he decided he wanted something, so he wanted her to give up on Draco to make it easier for himself to claim victory.

'Shouldn't you take your own advice?' she asked in an open challenge.

For the first time all night she saw him being affected by anything she said. He actually looked a little hurt. He slowly moved to kneel in front of her, holding her hands. 'Do I really have to?' he quietly asked.

She looked away and tried to pull her hands free, but he only tightened his hold. 'Don't make it about you!' she finally replied.

'You were the one to... it doesn't matter. I'm here, he's not.'

She looked back at him. 'I noticed.'

'I could make you feel better.'

She closed her eyes. 'I know.'

'It's up to you.' He let go of one of her hands to casually move it to her knee and slowly trace it up her thigh underneath her skirt.

'This is the reason for all of my problems, you know.' But she didn't push his hand away. She wasn't capable of it right now. Her head was so tired, and it just felt nice to be touched.

'No...' he muttered, slipping his other hand under her skirt as well. 'Not the cause. A symptom. You knew he couldn't give you what you needed. So you went and got it from me.'

'What? A good boning?' She was aware she sounded more weary than sarcastic.

'Intimacy.'

She snorted. 'Like sex with you is very intimate, Zabini.'

The hands immediately disappeared. 'You always had the option to say no.'

She felt disappointed that he wasn't touching her any more, but she still raised an eyebrow at him. 'Did I?'

'Yes.'

'And what if it really mattered to me that you didn't tell him? Which it did.'

'I wouldn't have had sex with you if you'd made a convincing case of not wanting it. And I wouldn't have told him, either, if you'd made a convincing case of it truly hurting you.'

'Really.' She mimicked him.

'I'm in love with you,' he simply said.

She reached out to touch his cheek. He looked so earnest. He always looked earnest. It was so easy to buy his lies. 'That just means you're extra possessive,' she muttered. 'Your idea of love is ownership. You would stop at nothing to own me.'

He gritted his teeth. 'What's so wrong about that? I would treat you much better than Malfoy ever did. I would give you everything you wanted, do anything you asked.'

She smiled. What a nice fantasy.

'I thought the thing with Tracey would prove that,' he continued. 'Obviously, I was wrong. You set me up so you could reassure yourself that I wouldn't be faithful. I hadn't counted on you being so desperate to discredit me, so I fell for it.'

Pansy rolled her eyes. 'She said you had sex with her twice.'

'I didn't manage to come the first time.'

'That wasn't how she put it.'

'Of course not. She wanted it to look like I wanted her. Hell, _I_ wanted it to look like I wanted her. Because that's how I thought you wanted it to look.'

'No, you want it to look like you didn't.'

He slowly nodded. 'And so you get to believe whatever you want.'

It didn't actually matter what Pansy believed. She loved Draco. Whether Blaise had _wanted_ to shag Tracey or not didn't matter. He was free to use that cock of his wherever he felt like it, whenever he felt like it. 'Don't act the martyr.'

He sighed. 'Do you want my services or not, Pansy?'

'Services?' She blinked a little confused. 'Are you a whore now?'

'To you—and apparently _for_ you—I am. I just can't figure out whether you want me to fuck you tonight or go away.'

She was loath to admit it, but she actually rather wanted him tonight. He was right. He could make her feel better. 'What would be the catch?'

'No catch for you.' He leant up, supporting his weight on his knees and grabbed her neck to crush her mouth against his in a desperate kiss.

***

Blaise let Pansy pull him up on top of her. He kind of wanted her to ride him one of these days, but he was aware that it wouldn't be tonight. Tonight, she needed him to show her exactly how much he wanted her.

He would show her. He would tell her. He knew she was sceptical when he talked about love, but that didn't matter. It wasn't important that she believed him. He could show his sincerity in other ways, offer her carefully drawn up contracts showing his commitment. Maybe then she'd at least consider him an option. He knew how scared she was of running out of options.

He was a really good option, even if she didn't love him. He was rich, he was handsome, and she would never want for anything again, whether it be material things or a hot-blooded lover in her bed.

She didn't have to be upset. He would heal her broken heart in no time.

'Please,' she whispered against his lips.

'Let's go slow,' he murmured, kissing the edge of her mouth.

'No, I... I just want release.' She began pulling his shirt from his trousers and unbuttoning it. Once she'd opened the first few buttons, he stopped her to simply pull the shirt off over his head.

He liked the look she got in her eyes when she looked at him. It wasn't love, but he would take what he could get.

Then she grabbed his trousers and speedily opened them.

'Wait,' he muttered. 'You're still dressed.' He was trying to remedy that even as he spoke.

'I need to feel you... You're gorgeous, you know that, Zabini?'

He stopped to stare at her, marvelling at how such a casually delivered line from this witch could make him feel. 'Likewise, Parkinson,' he quietly said.

She shook her head. 'No, really. I mean it.'

'So do I.'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'Trust me, I'm not nearly as good-looking as you are. I almost wish you weren't. It would make you less dangerous.'

'I'm not dangerous to you...'

'Of course you aren't. That's why we never end up shagging.' She giggled, but he didn't really appreciate that humour.

'If the only reason you're shagging me is because you find me handsome, then I'm glad nature made it that way,' he just said.

'Nature loves you,' she whispered, drawing him closer for a kiss before she let her hand wander down into his newly opened trousers.

With a few precise movements, he finished undressing her before he kicked off what was left of his own clothes.

She giggled again. 'If you're so impatient, why take it all off?'

He shrugged. He just wanted all of her tonight, skin against skin. He was so sick of sex that was nothing but genitals getting rubbed. He wanted to kiss and touch and _feel_.

He kissed her again, softer this time.

'Wait,' she said, pulling back just far enough for her lips to be out of his lips' reach. 'Tell me the truth. Is there something your floozies do for you that you wish I'd do too?'

He sighed. 'I have no floozies, Pansy. I told you, I only did what I thought you wanted me to with Tracey, and I've been avoiding Daphne like the dragon pox.'

'I'm not judging you; it was a simple question.'

'Fine. Then here's the simple answer: No. But I definitely wish they could do what you do for me.'

'How does that make sense if you claim to have no floozies?'

'Actually none of this makes any sense. You don't have to be jealous. I'm all yours.' He kissed her again.

She pulled back—again. 'Just so we're clear: I'm not jealous.'

'Of course not.'

'No, really!'

He hid his smirk by bending down to kiss her neck.

***

Blaise really was gorgeous. That was a big part of why it was so hard to say no to him. When someone that handsome showed interest in you, you just knew you'd be missing out if you didn't at least leave a door open.

And at least Blaise's floozies had taught him a few things about love-making. His hands and lips were truly talented, making Pansy's pulse skyrocket with only the whisper of a touch.

It was just sad that the only place she could find any sexual fulfilment or, actually, ego boosts of any kind, was in the bed of someone about as reliable as May weather.

His one hand was on her thigh, pushing up so she could more clearly feel his hard cock pressed against her pubes, whilst his other hand was kneading her breast and his teeth were nibbling at her throat.

She turned her head to the side and caught his lips, running her tongue over his lower lip. He moaned and she felt him harden even more against her.

And amazingly, he didn't seem to need to close his eyes and think of someone else to want her.

It was more than a little sad that this fact made her as eager to please him as she'd ever been to please anyone.

'Please,' she whispered. 'I need you.'

He swallowed and nodded, drawing back just far enough to enter her. She held her breath as he slowly pushed forward, teasing her with the promise of being filled but taking his sweet time about it.

She let her hands slide down his back, trying to press him against her to end this maddening feeling. When that didn't work, she pushed her hips up against him and gyrated a little.

He immediately stopped moving and groaned into her neck. 'Please, Pansy, I want to go slow tonight,' he whispered.

'I need you to go faster,' she whinged.

Leisurely, he moved a hand down between her legs and began stroking her while continuing his slow onslaught.

'This doesn't help!' she gasped as little electrical shocks seemed to go through her at the contact.

'I know,' he muttered. 'Feel free to come. I quite enjoy it when our sex is one long orgasm for you.'

She writhed under him, unsure whether she wanted to avoid his hand or press against it for more friction. 'I like coming as you thrust into me,' she hoarsely whispered. 'Again and again and again...'

With a ragged sound, he finally fully entered her and began thrusting. 'Damn, Pansy,' he rasped. 'You have me wrapped so tightly around your little finger, it's not even funny.'

'That's it!' she gasped. 'That's... oh!' Shuddering, she climaxed around him as he grunted and just kept moving, on and on.

'One,' he whispered once she finally relaxed.

'Might've been two,' she muttered.

He shivered with pleasure at that. 'Then let's not count any more.' And before she knew it, he was rubbing her just right again and it didn't take very long before she had another—more intense—climax.

'Holy _fuck_,' he muttered after she came down from that one.

She grinned and pulled him closer. 'I want you to come now.'

He shook his head. 'No. Not yet.' He had a thin layer of perspiration covering him, belying the ease with which he seemed to hold back.

'Hmm,' she purred, stretching under him, enjoying the feel of skin against skin. 'But wouldn't it be nice to thrust hard and fast before you let go and—mmpf!' He'd put a hand across her mouth.

'Shut up and come again.'

She was happy to oblige.

***

Pansy felt like she was floating. She could barely tell up from down or left from right any more. Blaise had been rather determined to please her tonight, and of course he knew just how.

He was still on top of her, his rapid breathing and heartbeat beginning to slow as he didn't move a muscle for several seconds, possibly even minutes.

They didn't speak. Speaking took too much effort.

He finally moved, putting his weight onto his arms and looking down at her, his facial expression inscrutable. She dreamily put her hand on his chest and looked at it. Such contrast in their colouring. He made her look paler than she was. This was a good thing. Her father always said that a lily-white complexion was the sign of a true lady. She tried recalling touching Draco and what the contrast had been there, but she couldn't really remember. She suspected he might be paler than her. Did that mean he was a true lady? She would have giggled at that if she'd had the energy.

'Stop doing that,' Blaise whispered.

She blinked and looked up at him. He didn't want her to touch him? But he was still inside her. Didn't it make sense to at least pull out before you chastised someone for touching you?

'Don't compare me to him,' he murmured. 'I can see it in your eyes. I can't be him for you. I'm sorry, but I can't.'

She slowly moved her head a little. She wasn't really comparing them.

He sighed and rearranged them so they could somewhat comfortably lie closely together. It was really nice. She was so sleepy.

***

What seemed like hours later, they were quietly lying together in an exhausted tangle of limbs. Pansy seemed to be drifting off and Blaise was quite happy to let her.

She'd never just stayed to _sleep_ with him afterwards before. Granted, he wasn't much of a cuddler himself, but with her, he just wanted to be close to her. Physically, mentally, emotionally...

Even if she didn't love him, it didn't matter. All she had to do was this. It wouldn't be that hard for her to do, would it? Draco and she were over and it was very unlikely she had a better back-up plan. Her father was the very traditional sort and who knew who he'd make her get together with? At least she found Blaise visually and sexually pleasing.

And no harm in hoping that love would come later.

He bent forwards and kissed her slightly parted lips. 'Be mine,' he whispered.

Her eyes flew open and she stared at him.

Not quite the reaction he'd hoped for. 'Come on, Pansy,' he muttered. 'It's not such a stretch. We're good together.'

She averted her eyes and began disentangling herself from him, sitting up, looking for her clothes.

The implicit rejection hurt. 'I would cut you whatever deal you asked for. And, I mean, do you have anything better now that you and Malfoy are over?'

She flinched.

His heart stopped for just a second. 'You and Malfoy _are_ over; right, Pansy?'

She swallowed and looked away. 'I don't really see how that's—'

'Because I just fucking proposed to you, and don't act like you don't know that's what I did!'

'Please, Blaise, I don't want to have this conversation...'

Blaise felt an unfamiliar burning behind his eyes. Damn it. She'd blindsided him again. 'Too bad. Answer me!'

She'd begun pulling on clothes and he had to restrain himself from tearing the cloth away from her. 'Ok,' she finally muttered. 'Ok. I-I'll reply, but you won't like it.'

With a few colourful words, Blaise pulled on his own garments, before he said, 'How can you stay with him after how he's treated you?'

'I love—'

'_Don't_ hide behind that excuse!' he interrupted her. 'Believe me, there are limits to what even a person in love should stand for.'

'I don't think there is,' she whispered. 'He might not be that... fond of me... but maybe one day he'll realise how much I've given for him and—'

'And then he might pity you, but he'd still rather fuck a Mudblood than you!'

She shot him a startled and wounded look. 'Why are you being so cruel?'

'Why are _you_ being so cruel?' he countered. 'Can't you see what kind of future he's offering you? A future where he'll care more about _her_ children than yours—provided he'll even be able _or_ inclined to give you any at all! You're likely to die alone, but, hey, at least your last name will be Malfoy!'

She'd begun crying again. He'd made her cry. Normally he'd feel rotten, but right now he was much too bitter to care. Let her have a taste of what her future would bring! He'd gone out of his way to show her how it _could_ have been.

And she didn't give a damn. She didn't give a damn about anything but that sodding Malfoy and it... it was just too much.

'Fuck you, Blaise!' she said, turning away from him.

'You do that so well,' he replied. 'What I honestly want to know is whether you truly love him that much or whether it's because you're too busy not believing a word I say to see what I'm offering you?'

'Maybe it's a little bit of both!' she retorted.

'Good luck with wherever that takes you! I'm... I'm done. I'm through.'

She turned back to look at him with big surprised eyes and he was feeling a little bit of surprise himself.

'What?' she asked.

'You heard me,' he forced out. 'I'm through. Offer withdrawn. I truly hope you get what you deserve.'

She laughed. It was a raw, bitter sound. 'Yes, teach me something about love, why don't you?' she said. 'Teach me the depth of emotion it takes to go from marriage talk to nothing in a few minutes.'

He clenched his jaw, angry that she would mock him when he was the one who'd just lost everything. 'Just following my own advice, Pansy,' he ground out. 'At least _I_ may yet some day find happiness instead of following you around like some lovesick dog, begging for scraps and whoring for your attentions.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Why don't you tell me how you really feel?'

'How I really feel?' he stepped closer to her, feeling a dark satisfaction when she cringed back from him. 'I feel like the Pansy I loved might've never existed. Because she sure wouldn't accept being second to a Mudblood and certainly not Granger. I feel like perhaps I've been wrong all along and Malfoy is treating you with the _exact_ amount of respect you deserve!'

Then he stormed out, slamming the door after himself, before he could do something stupid like renew his offer.

***

Pansy sat staring at the darkness for a very long time, before she managed to persuade her body to move. Today had been very emotionally and physically exhausting.

Blaise had been so angry that she wasn't giving up Draco yet. So angry. She'd never felt that kind of anger in him before, and she didn't know if he'd get over it or if she had just permanently lost her lover.

Losing her lover made dealing with Draco harder. It meant that she didn't have anyone to comfort her when he hurt her.

But she couldn't let Draco go. She would never let him go. Ever. If you truly loved someone, you withstood everything in order to be with them. Even indifference and loneliness and the potential of being lonely forever.

Even losing your lover because he couldn't respect that.

It just showed that Blaise had been lying when he'd said he loved her. If he'd truly loved her, he would have stayed no matter what. Because life without the one you loved was always worse than the alternative. Always.

Slowly she went back to the dungeons. She just wanted her bed now. She couldn't deal with anything but sleep.

Unfortunately, when she entered the Slytherin common room, Draco was waiting for her. Not that she wasn't happy to see him—she was always happy to see her boyfriend—but he had a we-need-to-talk expression on his face.

What had Blaise done to her now?

'Pansy, we need to talk,' Draco unsurprisingly said.

She shook her head, trying to clear it from the webs of fatigue. 'Look, if Blaise said something—'

'He didn't. I just... I can't do this. Neither to you, nor to her. Or to myself, for that matter.'

Pansy stared at him, uncomprehending. 'You want a completely pro forma relationship?'

He shook his head. 'No. No, I'm going to choose honesty. I'm going to officially begin seeing her and only her.'

Pansy's jaw dropped. 'B-but what about—'

He held up his hands. 'All those things don't matter to me any more. I love her. I hope you can appreciate that. And... I shouldn't have tried to hide her away. It was rotten of me and I'm lucky she'll even have me after...' His voice trailed off and he seemed unable to look her in the eyes. 'And I shouldn't have... have led you on. But at least you still have options, right? Zabini is very interested in you and you seem to enjoy his company. I could see if he has an offer for you.'

Pansy couldn't think of a single appropriate way to respond to any of this—she couldn't even find it in her tired head to burst into tears—so, instead, she just mutely went to bed.

***

'Hey, Malfoy!' Blaise leisurely strode over to Malfoy's chair in the common room. It was just after classes, but he might as well get it over with. 'I just wanted to say that you are a twat and I have absolutely no interest in tutoring you any more.'

Malfoy shrugged. 'Fair enough. I have no interest in _being_ tutored by you any more, since someone much better is already doing the job.'

'Yes. So I hear. And not the only job she's doing either, I bet.'

Malfoy raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. 'So, did you see Pansy today?'

Blaise felt his entire face harden. 'No.'

Malfoy sighed. 'It's really good she has you, though. Are you considering an offer?'

'No.' Blaise's face felt like someone had forced a really uncomfortable mask onto it.

Malfoy looked both surprised and disappointed. 'Could you be talked into making one? Perhaps if I compensated you?'

Suddenly Blaise realised what was going on and he had to clench his hands hard in order not to strangle Malfoy. 'Trying to get rid of her, then? Too bad. She's all yours.'

He turned away but stopped when Malfoy said, 'I already cut her loose. I just thought you might be interested and told her as much.'

'You waited too long. I lost interest.'

'We take care of our own!' Malfoy insisted. What a puzzling statement. And faulty.

'No, you got that wrong. We eat our own. And I don't see you marrying her, either.'

'I... It was harder than I thought. There must be some way...'

'No. I don't care for used goods,' Blaise coldly said, and went to the dormitory without waiting for a response.

A week ago or even a _day_ ago this would have been good news and he would have acted on it, but now... he couldn't accept her even if she came to him. What kind of relationship could they have if she constantly waited for an opening with her One True Love, Malfoy? He couldn't imagine constantly having to look over his shoulder to see if Malfoy had changed his mind. Constantly worrying if any child she might have might turn out fair-skinned and blond.

He was sorry that Pansy must be hurting right now, but so was he. They each just had to get over it in their own way. She would probably find some other poor bugger to turn inside out, and he would be looking for Daphne Greengrass, starting immediately.

***

Pansy smiled at the bathroom mirror and marvelled at how convincingly the reflection beamed back at her. She was nothing if not a consummate actress. Inside, there was nothing but a big black hole edged with pain, but on the outside, she didn't have a care in the world.

Draco was openly seeing Granger.

Blaise was openly fucking whoever was willing to be fucked. Except Pansy. She'd actually made the mistake of trying to get him to sleep with her after she figured enough time must have passed for him to have soothed his ego. He'd quickly disabused her of that notion. He didn't want to touch her ever again, he'd said. She'd made her own bed and now she had to lie in it. Alone.

But at least nobody else knew how she felt. Nobody. Not even Daphne, who couldn't shut up for even five minutes about Blaise's renewed interest in her.

She exited the bathroom, smile firmly in place, and began walking towards the Great Hall. It was dinner-time. At dinner, she especially had to act, because Draco would be ogling Granger across the room and Blaise would have Daphne draped all over him, smiling, laughing, flirting.

Pansy would be alone, but she refused to look lonely, damn it. She refused to let Granger feel sorry for her. She refused to let Blaise have the satisfaction of knowing that she still missed his touch.

She was almost there when Draco intercepted her. 'Pansy, wait!'

She turned the smile up a notch. Draco, especially, couldn't know how she felt. It was too humiliating. 'Draco, what a pleasant surprise.'

He shot her a look that told her he'd known her far too long to be easily fooled. Well, it didn't matter if he was fooled. Her smile was her shield and she refused to drop it.

'I feel bad about how I... you know... so, I've been trying to look out for you. Nott is willing to make a very good offer, if you're interested.'

Pansy blinked. 'Nott? I thought you said Zabini would be interested. Why wouldn't you ask—' She cut off a little too late to save face. Of course he'd asked Blaise. She _knew_ how Blaise felt, so why had she even brought it up? 'Oh.'

Draco avoided her eyes. 'Nott's holdings are bigger and his family's influence is really great on the Continent.'

Yes. Holdings. Influence. Duty. Her father would be thrilled. 'I thought he was involved with Tracey Davis,' she said, struggling to sound enthusiastic.

'He's more interested in you than Davis. If you'll accept the offer.'

That was Draco-speak for _I bought him for you_.

'So you could buy Nott but not Zabini?' she was unable to keep from asking.

'If you really want Zabini, I can talk to him again?' he softly said.

She shook her head. The indignity was bad enough as it was. She didn't need an offer from someone who would probably have to be blackmailed into giving it. 'No... no, that's all right. I'll... look at Nott's offer.'

She did have to marry _someone_, after all, and her father would be livid if she turned down a good offer from someone as remarkable as Theodore Nott.

And it really wasn't surprising that Blaise wasn't _truly_ interested in offering for her. His offer had been vague and half-hearted and... it was just obvious it had been a lie.


	5. Chapter 5

Daphne caressed Blaise's hair. He really wished she wouldn't do that. It was annoying. Irritably, he pulled away from her and reached for his underwear. Soon other people would come back to the dormitory, not that this seemed to faze Daphne.

'Are you going to offer for me?' she asked, seemingly not noticing that he didn't want her touch.

'No.' He reached for his trousers.

She rolled onto her belly and put her chin in her hand. 'Why not?'

He growled. 'Because you're a slag and fucking is all you're good for.'

She shrugged. 'That's more than most can say.'

'Forget it. I'm not offering for you. I want someone less used.'

'Wow, talk about double standards. You're not exactly pristine, you know.'

'Yes. But that's how it is. If you want an offer, you're better off devoting your services elsewhere.'

She frowned and began picking at her nails. 'You know I can please you?'

Just barely. 'I don't get what's with you, Greengrass. Are you a glutton for punishment? I said no.'

'Fine!' she snapped, finally getting off his bed and getting dressed. 'But you didn't have to be such a dick about it!'

'It's my dick that got us here.'

'I fucking hope that whatever virginal paragon you finally _do_ end up offering for will refuse you _and_ that used dick of yours. Don't bother to come crawling back to me when that happens!'

He couldn't help but laugh and she left in a huff, not even noticing the bitter, heart-broken ring to his mirth.

***

Pansy sat—spine ramrod straight—in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and read through the preliminary offer Draco had pushed to get outlined for her post-haste.

It was fairly good. If she took it and she was faithful, she wouldn't risk having nowhere to go ever again. She wouldn't have to go home to her father ever again, either. She wouldn't have to marry an old wizard. She wouldn't end up without a livelihood.

It was just... it was an offer to spend the rest of her life with _Theodore Nott_. She didn't like him much. He was neither charming nor outgoing nor... anything, really. She imagined a life of quietly suffering in dignity with him.

'Oh, you!' Granger's voice said from behind her. 'Decide to study for once, Parkinson? A bit late in the year for that.'

Pansy looked up, catching the pity in Granger's eyes before she could fully conceal it. The pity was worse than any taunts. Much worse.

'You think you've won; don't you, Granger?' Pansy quietly asked.

Granger shrugged. 'I don't consider it a matter of winning.' She went over to the cupboard and got out a book, which presumably was what she was here for in the first place.

'Good for you,' Pansy said. 'I mean, Draco is hardly any sort of prize.'

Granger scoffed. 'Right. That's why you wanted him so badly. And that's why he's been so busy trying to see to it that you're taken care of. Honestly, I don't get why you can't just take care of yourself.'

'He feels guilty,' Pansy said, tracing the writing of the parchment with a finger. 'He sold my virginity for scraps to someone who won't even offer for me. He thought he would if needed. He thought it was a back-up plan that would sort itself out.'

Granger rolled her eyes. 'I wish you'd stop lying to everyone.'

Pansy smiled without any joy. 'I guess there's more to it than that. But as far as he knew at the time, I was his girlfriend and a virgin, and he allowed someone else to try and do whatever he pleased with me, because he simply didn't care.'

Granger shook her head, but she looked wary. 'No. Draco wouldn't do that.'

Pansy sighed. 'Oh, don't you worry, Granger. He _probably_ wouldn't do it to you. I mean, you're different. You're not completely dependent on his goodwill. Independence has its perks, as you're well aware, I'm sure. Have a nice day now.' She took her parchments and left.

She supposed she would have to take the offer. It wasn't likely that she'd get a better one any day soon and going home to hear her father go on about how losing Draco was solely her fault because she was never good enough at anything was not an option.

***

Blaise was walking back from an—undeserved, really!—detention when he heard shouting. At first, he wasn't really interested, but then he recognised the voices.

How could he resist Malfoy and Pansy having it out? After all, this wasn't something that happened every day. In fact, he'd be surprised if it had ever happened before.

Carefully, he edged closer to the room where he heard the voices coming from.

'You fucking bitch!' Malfoy was railing. 'How could you do this to me? After everything I've done for you!'

Pansy sneered. The fact that she'd sneer at Malfoy threw Blaise for a loop. 'Everything you've _done_ for me? Don't you think your little Granger deserved to learn the truth about what exactly you've done for me?'

'I set you up with Nott and gave you a much better deal than you'd ever have got with me!'

'Yes, I'm beginning to see that!' she retorted. 'But it's not my fault she decided she had more self-esteem than to stay with someone who'd rent out their girlfriend!'

'Hey, Zabini didn't rape you, did he? Anything that happened between the two of you happened because _you_ chose to cheat on me. I just told him it was ok to try!'

And because of a little blackmail, but why get into details?

'No! You just bartered me like some thing!'

'I didn't lock you in a bedroom with him; you were free to walk away, any time!'

She almost sounding maniacal when she laughed. 'No, I wasn't! B-because th-then he would've told you...' She visibly swallowed and looked away.

'But there was something to tell, wasn't there?' Malfoy hissed.

Her head snapped back and her eyes narrowed. 'Yes. That you took advantage of the fact that I loved you enough to repeatedly hurt me by fucking around and _one night_ I was weak and he was sweet, and this made it ok for the two of you to then treat me like less than a person. Because my worth depends on who'll have me. You know what? I'm glad she left you. I'm glad _someone_ could!'

Now it was Malfoy's turn to sneer. 'I'm having Nott withdraw his offer.'

She laughed again. Her laughter was beginning to scare Blaise. Where was his Pansy? He couldn't recognise her at all, and the laugh... it was the sound of someone who just didn't give a damn any more.

He was a fool, but it still tore at him. She'd seemed to be coping so well. She never seemed like she had a care in the world. He'd heard she'd got a good offer from Nott. He'd heard she was taking it. He'd been right there in their common room as Pansy was holding court, squealing over the fact that she'd got such a good offer so early in life and so soon after breaking it off with Malfoy.

'Of course you are,' she spat. 'Nothing's ever free with you lot, is it? Be eternally grateful and grovel, or you take it all away.'

'You could just have kept your big, fat mouth shut and then none of this would have happened!'

'Fuck you!'

Malfoy smiled nastily. 'No, thank you.'

He violently exited the room, slamming the door open and Blaise only just had time to withdraw around the corner before he was seen. When Malfoy came his way, Blaise made a quick decision and grabbed his robes as he was just turning the corner.

'What the—oh, Zabini. Great.' Malfoy looked more annoyed than anything.

'That offer you got her? It stays on the table.'

'Hell, no!'

'Hell, yes.'

Malfoy attempted to free himself. 'Make your own damn offer if you're so concerned about her.'

Blaise grabbed better hold and shook his head. 'No. She's right; you were a dick to her. The offer stays.'

'You were a fucking dick too—_you_ offer!'

'I _did_ offer for her, all right? She didn't want it. She wants this one. Let her have it.'

'Make me.'

'I'll talk to Granger. Try to show her some of the... nuances of the arrangement.'

Malfoy stopped struggling and slowly nodded. 'If I get Hermione back, Pansy can have her offer. But only if you let go of me right about now.'

Blaise let go and then sighed. He really didn't want to play matchmaker between Draco and his Mudblood, but if it would help Pansy's happiness along...

***

The offer hadn't been withdrawn. In fact, she'd got a cleaner version which closed some of the gaps of the earlier one and Tracey was definitely still giving her the evil eye, so Nott mustn't have patched that relationship up.

It was a really good offer, and Pansy had no illusions about not accepting it.

Nott wasn't bad-looking. And maybe once they got to know each other better, there could be affection. Maybe he could even open up a little for her. As it was, he'd barely spoken two words to her in spite of her best efforts.

Maybe the offer was still here because Granger had forgiven Draco, but Pansy couldn't figure out whether Draco and Granger were together again or not. They seemed to have a rather unstable relationship. Still, she knew better than to hope for her time ever to come. And, well, maybe Nott was better. At least he didn't seem to treat anyone badly. In fact, if anything, Tracey had always seemed a little spoilt by him. Pansy liked being spoilt. It seemed to be aeons ago that she'd just accepted pretty things and a carefree lifestyle as her due.

Blaise seemed to have finished with Daphne, but he wasn't exactly lacking for female attention. It seemed like she always came across him snogging some witch or other in some corner of the castle and it really only highlighted her own loneliness each time.

She wished he wouldn't keep throwing it in her face like that.

Another thing Pansy had no illusions about was experiencing that kind of love-making ever again. Nott's offer was very clear on infidelity not being an option, and she doubted that he was anywhere near Blaise's level of expertise or appetite. In fact, she seemed to dimly recall Tracey saying that sex didn't interest him at all. He'd mostly just kept Tracey around for company.

Still, the offer mentioned children, so he must be _able_ to do it.

The door into the common room opened, admitting a straggler who should've been in bed hours ago. As should Pansy. But she just couldn't stop staring at these parchments.

'Oh! Pansy...'

Her head whipped up as she realised the straggler was Blaise. He was looking at her with a strange expression on his face. 'What?' she asked.

'What are you doing still up?' he asked. 'Did you need to talk to me?'

Ah. So that was why he was giving her this odd look. And she really didn't want to know where he'd been. 'No. Just reading something.'

He came closer. 'Ah, yes. I heard about your offer. Congratulations.'

Was he being sarcastic? 'Thanks. It's very good.'

'Apart from it not being from Malfoy, is it everything you want?'

She looked down again, not sure what to say. She didn't want to sound ungrateful. 'It's a very good offer,' she finally repeated.

'Not what I asked.'

She shrugged. 'It's the best offer I ever had. But then again, it's the only real offer, so...'

'That's not true.'

She glanced up at him. 'Your, um, "offer" wasn't really all that specific, Blaise.'

'Sure it was,' he quietly said. 'I offered you everything you wanted. You just declined it because I couldn't include Malfoy.'

'Ok, fine, this is the only offer I ever had that's both in writing _and_ lasted more than two minutes.'

'I'm sorry I couldn't offer for you again.'

For an apology, that was surprisingly hurtful. Why did he even have to bring up the fact that Draco hadn't been able to buy him for her? Truth be told, if he had been, Pansy would have preferred that offer. Blaise might be inconsistent, manipulative, emotionally abusive and fond of a variety of witches in his bedroom, but at least there would've been the sex to comfort her in her loneliness. She wasn't sure whether he'd have had any interest in things like conversation, but she supposed that was what friends were for. It was still better than marrying someone who didn't care about any aspect of interacting with her.

'You decide who to offer for. It's not appropriate to apologise,' she muttered.

He sat down heavily in a chair next to her. 'No, I feel I should explain now that—'

'Please don't.'

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 'It hurt you, I know. But it wasn't like you were going to take it anyway. I wasn't in a state of mind to soothe your ego.'

'I don't want to talk about it!' Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone? He'd made his point. He hadn't wanted to make the offer and she'd dealt with that. Soon she would officially be signing up to spend her life with Nott. No need to go into details about why Blaise hadn't wanted her.

He frowned at her. 'You don't sound happy.'

She shrugged. 'Maybe happiness will come later.'

'I-I kind of thought Nott's offer would make you happy _now_.' He looked honestly confused.

She blinked. 'Why?'

'I don't know. I guess I underestimated how much you wanted Malfoy. I just thought you were pleased with this offer?'

'I am pleased that I have any offer at all.' She looked down at her hands. Maybe she could ask Nott for a child early. Maybe that would help the loneliness. It would call for a change in the offer, though, because it said he wanted to wait at least five years to have children.

Blaise muttered, 'I don't understand why you're looking so unhappy.'

Pansy tried her best to find her carefree smile. 'I'm just a bit sentimental tonight.'

Instead of looking placated, he looked frustrated. 'I don't know how to help you, Pansy, I really don't,' he said. 'When offered Nott, the next best thing to Malfoy, you look like you're going to your own funeral. Isn't there anyone available you want? Tell me. I'll try to make it happen.'

'You and Draco are so sweet,' she murmured. 'Always trying to buy me husbands.'

'We just want to see you happy.'

That was the proverbial last drop. 'You don't give a fig about my feelings! Either of you!' she snapped.

He actually looked flabbergasted. 'Excuse me?'

'Draco's probably just trying to look better in the eyes of Granger after she learnt of the way he treated me. With her ideals, he needs all the help he can get. And you! Every step of the way you've lied and cheated and manipulated and tried to break Draco and me up. And finally, when it succeeded, you weren't even _there_. You were just off fucking half of Hogwarts whilst I was trying to keep it together. Now I finally have an offer and you sit there, talking about wanting my happiness? Fuck off!'

'Hey, I helped with that offer!'

Pansy's jaw dropped as what was left of her self-esteem shattered. 'Great, that's just...' She pushed away the parchments and got up. 'I don't even want to know what you had to do to get someone to take me off your hands, but the deal's off. I'll manage somehow.'

She couldn't do this any more! She didn't know how, but there had to be somehow she could manage. Somehow she didn't have to do this to herself. Only, there wasn't really. Maybe she should just kill herself and get it over with. Wouldn't her father love _that_ embarrassment?

'That's not—nothing! I didn't... don't walk away!' Blaise got to his feet as well. 'I'm not done here.'

She sneered at him. 'I am!'

She took a few steps, but his legs were longer and he got in her way. 'I made Malfoy not remove it, ok? Nott probably didn't need a lot of incentive to offer for you.'

'I don't care.'

'I needed _no_ incentive to make my offer, if you'll remember.'

'Of course not. Who else would turn a blind eye to your whoring around?'

Daphne would. Almost anyone would, actually. But Pansy wasn't very interested in being either logical or reasonable right now.

She was so sick and tired of this. Sick and tired of being the one who could always be manipulated and forced because she was the one _stupid_ enough to fall for wizards who didn't know what love was and certainly wouldn't give it to her even if they did.

Well, wizard. She wasn't sure how she felt about Blaise, only that she would be happy once she didn't have to constantly see him with his tongue down other witches' throats.

He was quiet for a moment and she was about to step around him when he sighed and said, 'I knew that was a concern of yours, so I put in my offer that you'd walk away with everything if I... if I did. My solicitor gave me hell about it.'

She sniggered. 'Right.'

He grabbed her hand and dragged her off. At first she struggled against it, but then as they reached the dormitories—afraid someone would wake up from the commotion—she just kind of followed. It was always easier to just let them have their way, after all. Less damage that way.

He let go just outside of his dormitory and then went inside, only to come out a minute later and thrust some parchments at her.

She didn't have to look very carefully at them to understand what they were. She swallowed. 'B-but they aren't finished, so I guess you abandoned that fast, huh?' she whispered, rather just wanting not to be there.

'They aren't finished because I kept trying to figure out what you wanted and making changes,' he tonelessly said. 'Unfortunately, me spending the rest of my life drinking Polyjuice potion to look like Draco Malfoy was a deal breaker.'

'I didn't believe you,' she muttered. Most of the parchments seemed to be random scribbling, but there was also some advice from a solicitor—which he did seem to have largely ignored.

'I know.'

'Guess you showed me, huh?' She swallowed again. The offer had been real. Didn't he know how it hurt to know everything she'd lost because she'd believed that love would ultimately prevail with Draco.

She'd been stupid. Love never prevailed. She should have taken whatever offer Blaise had been throwing at her and have been grateful that she'd at least got someone handsome and sexy as well as well-off. Turning a blind eye to his affairs wouldn't have been so bad. Lots of witches did that. Sometimes, you just couldn't have a wizard to yourself. Sometimes, they just outshone you.

'Don't assume that the only way for you to get a husband is if we buy him for you. It's ok to wait,' he muttered, stepping closer to her.

She drew back. She couldn't really deal with physical proximity right now. Especially not to Blaise. Especially not after hearing this. Especially not knowing he'd been out whoring this very night.

'The only wizard who ever claimed to love me withdrew his offer almost before he'd made it. I think I'm going to play this safe.' She handed him back his parchments, not wanting to see exactly what he'd wanted her to have in the approximately five seconds he'd been infatuated with her, and then she turned to go back to the common room.

He followed. She could feel him follow, but tried to ignore it. She had an offer she needed to owl a copy of to her parents before she went to bed. The sooner, the better. She wasn't kidding anyone with her brief burst of pride. She wasn't made for a life of hardships. Being married to Nott would be lonely but comfortable.

'I only withdrew it because you were going to decline anyway,' Blaise said as soon as they were clear of the dormitories. 'I didn't exactly like how I was always just your substitute for Malfoy, and I was jealous and... and hurt...'

'I might have believed you'd been serious if you'd been there when I needed you instead of off showing me how little your declaration meant to you.'

'I needed to fucking forget you! I'm sorry about the timing, I really am, but you refused me in favour of someone you _knew_ would put you second at best. You couldn't honestly expect me to drop everything to comfort you the minute he broke it off!'

She smiled a little wryly. 'Actually, I did expect that.' Because that was what she would have done. She would have ignored her own hurt feelings to comfort the one she loved. But maybe she was doing it wrong. Maybe loving someone meant abusing them and ignoring them when they needed you. If that were the case, she was sure experiencing a lot of love from others lately.

'What would be the point?' he asked. 'You didn't care about me and would've talked me into making love to you, not even remotely realising how much it hurts when the witch you fancy enough to outline terms of bloody child-bearing just considers you some kind of... disposable dick!'

'You _act_ like a disposable dick, Zabini!'

He flinched. She wasn't sure whether it was at the accusation or at the use of his last name. 'Only because that's what you wanted!' He was raising his voice. That was Blaise's version of frustration. His frustration was always hot and loud, his anger cold and quiet. Oh, how she wished she didn't know him so well.

She bitterly smiled. Unfortunately, she did know him well. Well enough not to buy his twisted truths. 'Oh, I see, so these past weeks, it was me who wanted you to fuck any witch you laid your eyes on?'

'No, I told you, that was...' He sighed. 'Does it really matter, anyway?'

She shook her head, finally agreeing with him on something. 'No. I'll take this offer from Nott and you'll offer for... Daphne or whoever. Tracey is free now too.'

He hesitated. 'Yeah, because you'd never consider an offer from me, would you? You really would prefer someone like Nott; someone who would leave you alone most of the time?' he asked, proving that he didn't know her at all. She would prefer fighting and even degradation to being ignored, any time.

Her bitterness prompted her to say, 'No, why would I consider an offer from you? Nott's offer is brilliant. I wouldn't even know I had a husband.'

She would be alone forever and ever or at least until she somehow managed to have a baby. Just the thing she wanted! She wasn't even that maternal. She'd rather have a partner in life. Someone to live, laugh and love with.

But she would never have that, would she? It didn't matter who she chose, she would never have that. She was little more than a breeding vessel.

'Pansy, please consider what you're saying before you make more people unhappy than you have to,' Blaise quietly said. 'I do realise how I've treated you, but these contracts are hard to get out of once they get their final approval. If you agree to this thing out of anger, you could ruin a lot more than you'd gain.'

He was right. Acting rashly was in nobody's best interest. But maybe considering whether she should accept Blaise would be the rash thing to do? She didn't even know. She was so confused. 'I thought you didn't want me because I only wanted Draco.' Which was, ironically, the same reason he _had_ wanted her in the first place.

He shrugged, looking a little awkward. 'I didn't. But... I don't know... aren't you over him? You seem over him. You seem... different.'

Was she over Draco? She didn't know. Seeing him around still hurt. Seeing him with Granger hurt even more. But she supposed that she was also kind of fed up with him and resentful for everything he'd done to her. 'Some of us need more than five minutes to get over someone,' she said, not bothering to hide the accusation.

Again, he looked puzzled. 'You think I'm over you?'

She tried laughing, but it was mostly just a grimace with an odd sound. Her guards were too far down tonight. She was too sick of everything. 'You were over me the second you left that room!'

He slowly nodded. 'Yes, Pansy, you're right. I'm over you. That's why I'm off at all hours, trying to not _think_. Trying to not go crazy at the thought of you marrying fucking _Nott_, when you'd never even consider me, no matter if you want Malfoy or not. Trying not to make more of an arse out of myself over you than I have to and obviously failing. I mean, have you even considered how it feels to be making my offer to you for the second time and being almost certain that you're going to decline?'

'You didn't actually _make_ a second offer,' she saw fit to point out. He hadn't. For all she knew, he could just be setting her up so he could shoot her down for all the times she'd used him to try and become better at catching Draco's attention. She wasn't stupid. She knew Blaise's ego had taken some major hits from her.

He thrust his disordered parchments at her. 'Whichever bits you like. I'll write it out _with_ you, if you like. I don't care who gets what as long as I get you. I... I don't have as much money as either Malfoy or Nott, and my family's influence is more commercial than political—especially after inevitably pissing both Malfoy and Nott off with this—but I can work on both points. My marks are good and I was mostly neutral in the war. I can get into almost any profession I want.'

So... he was actually making this offer? For her? She could marry him if she wanted? It was too good to be true. In her experience, "too good to be true" usually meant that it wasn't true. Or that there was a major undisclosed downside. 'I don't know what to think about all this, Blaise.'

'Then let me sum it up: I love you. I'm willing to do my best to trump any other offer you might receive, and I'm even willing to overlook that you might still be in love with someone else. All I'm asking is fidelity and that you try to devote yourself to me and eventually make a family with me.'

She pursed her lips. 'That _is_ a good offer.' Or would be. If it were real. But she wasn't sure she could trust him until she had a draft with preliminary approvals by all the relevant parties.

'Yes, isn't it? So what do you say?'

She shrugged, playing along to see if she could figure out his true intentions. 'I don't know if I love you.'

'That's...' He paused. 'There's a possibility you might?' That sincere look of his was killing her. He used it so well.

She felt her cheeks heat and shrugged a little awkwardly. 'I know I missed you. But it might be... for other reasons.' Ugh, this wasn't exactly what she'd planned on telling him.

His lips quirked and the sincerity was replaced by deviance. 'Yeah?'

She shot him a stern look. 'Stop that. This is a serious conversation.' And she knew he'd had sex with someone else tonight, or he wouldn't have been back this late. She couldn't let him touch her like this when he probably still had someone else's scent on him. She wasn't one of his slags. Even if she ended up taking an offer from him, there had to be boundaries.

'I missed you too,' he murmured, almost devastating her with the way he looked at her. It was all smoke and mirrors. He could turn it on and off at will.

Marrying him might open her up to a whole new level of heart-break if she slipped and believed his manipulative lies. Sex might not be worth that risk. But then again, wasn't she an expert at pining after someone who didn't give a damn? It could be a lot worse than that someone being her husband, she supposed.

'You wouldn't know it,' she replied. As far as rebellions went it was fairly weak, but she didn't _have_ to choose him if she didn't want to. She had options. Bad options, but... weren't they all kind of bad?

He made a frustrated sound and buried his hands in his hair. 'You'll just _never_ stop holding that against me, will you? Why was I supposed to stay alone when we weren't even together and you were—and are still—considering _marrying_ another bloke? If you accepted me, I wouldn't disrespect you, you know that. But as long as you don't... what is it to you?'

She supposed he might be more discreet if she accepted him. Maybe he'd even be faithful for a few months before he tired of her. Still, right now he was just flaunting the fact that nothing that had mattered to her mattered to him. 'How would you feel?' she just asked.

He hesitated and then sighed and plonked down in a chair, quietly saying, 'Devastated. I'm so sorry.'

She paused, feeling awkward. 'Well... I don't know if that's... I mean, I knew what to expect...' She blushed as he looked at her expectantly. What was she supposed to say? She'd never had any right to tell him who he could or could not sleep with, it just... didn't feel very nice to be so easily dismissed. 'You needn't apologise. I was out of line for bringing it up.'

She sat down as well. What now?

***

Blaise studied Pansy's face. She looked tired. Exhausted, even. True, it was late, but somehow he got the feeling that there was more to it than that. He couldn't believe he'd missed it. She'd been acting like she was fine. Of course there had been moments when she'd looked lost, but he'd just thought she'd missed Malfoy.

He'd even been angry with her the time she'd tried to proposition him. He'd thought it had been remarkably insensitive of her to believe they could just continue their thing like that.

Maybe he should've been nicer to her.

'I'm learning,' he quietly said.

She shot him an almost startled look. 'What?'

'I'm learning how to be more like you want me to be. I'm young; give it time. You might make a decent match of me yet.'

'I don't—'

'Don't deny that this is a big part of our problem. I'm trying to be less of an arse. If you help me, I might even succeed.'

'Oh.' She didn't say anything else. At least it beat her denials. He didn't like it when she denied that they were supposed to be lovers and more.

'All I'm asking of you—if you want me in any capacity—is to at least not decide to take Nott's offer yet,' he added.

She slowly nodded her acceptance. 'Nott's offer is good for six months. What after that?'

'Hopefully, after that, you decide you don't want him. That you'd rather be with me.'

Hopefully she'd decide that _before_, but obviously she wasn't going to decide any such thing tonight. Life wasn't that easy.

'So you're making me a formal offer within six months?' she asked, frowning as she was clearly considering this deal.

'I'll owl my mother and my solicitor tomorrow, if you'd like. I can probably offer within weeks.'

She pursed her lips and slowly nodded again. 'What if I don't want to marry you?'

He hated the way she could put a vacuum in his chest. Feelings. He didn't like them at all. Except, that warm feeling he got whenever she looked at him almost affectionately was worth it. 'I... I guess you don't, then. I can't make you.'

She tilted her head. 'Would you make me if you could?'

He smiled self-deprecatingly. He probably would have. He would've counted on her eventually coming around. 'Would you have made Malfoy marry you?'

She looked away. 'Point taken.' He didn't miss the pain in her face. Why did she have to love Malfoy? _Why_? He couldn't even describe how much he wished she didn't.

It didn't affect his offer, though. He wanted her because he loved her, and he _knew_ he could make her feel better and less lonely. There was no reason that she shouldn't eventually love him too!

'That's not such a bad thing,' he murmured. 'We're both people who know what we want and will do whatever it takes to get it. Who cares if other people don't get that? It just makes us perfect for each other.'

'I'm not so sure I like that you'll do "whatever it takes" to have your way with me, regardless of my wishes,' she said.

His lips quirked. 'Sure, you do. Think of all the fun and interesting games we'll be playing for years...' He had no doubts whatsoever that Pansy would make him work to keep the upper hand. The very thought made him hard. He liked it when she made him work for it.

'And what if one day I really mean it when I say no, and you ignore me because you think it's a _game_?' she coldly asked.

It was a valid question, he supposed, but he just shook his head. 'You give me too little credit, Pansy. I can see when you're susceptible or not. Tonight you aren't, and I can only begin to guess why.'

Actually, he knew exactly why. He really wanted to bathe until he could wash any other witch he'd ever touched off, but how could he have _known_ it would matter? He'd just done the one thing that gave him the ego boost he needed to go on with his life.

It didn't mean he was incapable of fidelity.

She thought that was exactly what it meant, though, and it worried him some. It was impossible to prove that he would _never_ cheat on her, and it would be exhausting to have her suspect it forever and ever.

Still, theirs wasn't exactly the most common of relationships. They'd find a way to deal with the mistrust and other issues. They had to. He missed her. He wanted to make sure that those worry lines didn't become permanent. She deserved a life without worry.

She was looking at him. He knew she was considering. 'So,' she finally said. 'Here's what I'm thinking: You'll offer in a few months.'

He frowned. 'Why not now?' Did she want something special in the offer since he couldn't just put it together right away?

'Because I don't want to get engaged to you right now. You'll offer in a few months. The offer will stand for a year. And after I accept the offer—if I accept it—we will commence a long engagement. And during all of this time, there will be no sexual contact unless I initiate it. And by no sexual contact, I mean with _anyone_.'

His jaw dropped. He'd have to wait not only to marry her, but also to even _touch_ her? He would potentially have to go without sex for years? 'Why?'

'Because I don't know if I want to marry you, Zabini, and the only one in a hurry is my father. He can be pacified like this. Meanwhile, you're getting some time to prove to me that you'll be worth it, and if you're not... well, I'm sure that I can find a nice match on the Continent after all this attention I've been getting.'

Blaise was still rather flabbergasted. 'You want... what... a trial period?' And one where he couldn't even use his talents, at that?

'Take it or leave it, Zabini,' she said, looking him square in the eyes. 'I still have options.'

He almost lost his breath at the sheer force of her unprecedented willpower. He didn't know this witch half as well as he thought he did and that was exciting all by itself.

But... no sex for years?

Unless, of course, he could seduce her into initiating it.

That would be a fun game.

He smirked to himself. The very possibilities... 'It's a deal.'

He couldn't wait to drive her out of her mind and prove to her that he was _precisely_ what she both wanted and needed.

This was exactly why he wanted her.


End file.
